I’m so fucking sick and tired of my husband’s “jokes”

He thinks he’s a comedian but he’s not. And he always has to have the last word. I was boiling some water for pasta. He said “well, make sure you don’t over boil it, you’ll ruin the water.” I rolled my eyes and said “wow, thanks for the tip. I wouldn’t have known that otherwise.” Then he goes “what, are you mad at me or something?” I said “yes, I’m mad at you because you are not funny. You think you’re funny but you just come off as a dick every time you try to be a smart ass. You are so unoriginal too, your humor is not even unique.” I went back to what I was doing and he goes “I just don’t like earnest people.” I fucking hate that. I want to strangle him every time he says that. It makes me want to pout and be like “well then let me be as sarcastic as I can so I can be as annoying as possible to you since you don’t like earnest people.”