I’m not sure what hurts more, losing my girl or my Xbox controller that she destroyed

A few years ago I got my first girlfriend, my best friend. She was my first everything. We were each other’s firsts. She was absolutely beautiful to me, everything about her made me love her more and more. So I thought we were destined to be, I thought we lasted forever. But then she found some other guy. She told me a few weeks ago that she didn’t think she loved me anymore. She said it was my fault. And I’m so confused because I would do anything for her. But she started going out with him. He’s some loser, believes in God, probably won’t even graduate. She’s a beautiful nerdy girl while he’s just some idiot. I’d do anything for her but it doesn’t matter to her. But I’m still here, waiting for her. I’m still in love with her even after what she did. But I was playing some games with her, and she just started hitting me. She started hitting me, and screaming, and she said I was stupid and I hurt her. Then she took my controller and she slammed it into the oven. I started crying because it’s a special controller. It was a gift, and it’s ten years old. I had it for my entire life, since I learned how to play. And she hurt me, and she hurt my controller. So I started crying. I couldn’t stop, and I couldn’t breathe, and she just got up and left. We haven’t talked since. I don’t know what to do, because I’m still in love with her. I would do anything for her, and I need her back. I’ve been put in the fryer, and I’ve been vomiting. I’ve been puking blood for days, and I have to go into the hospital. I hurt so much. I don’t know what to do.