New to this sub, and can we just be genuinely retarded?

Like I’m on the spectrum and have a psych diagnosis. I’ve had multiple relationships (I’m 22). My ex is dating someone she told me “is similar to you but more handsome and smarter”<br><br>For her birthday, I got her a complete birthday gift. She told me it was “I mean it’s nice but I’m going to only use 40% of it.” After that the relationship went south REAL quick. I also just started going to law school, it’s going terribly. I have no friends, I just run all the time and try to read and write. She also started wearing revealing clothing.<br><br>I joined tinder and started getting a lot of matches. Which is weird, cuz I’m pretty average and I don’t have any hobbies. I can’t relate to anyone and when I go out to social events, everyone is boring. When I’m with her and we’re alone, I get really nervous. I feel like she’s disappointed with me because I’m not the best looking guy, but she definitely finds me attractive. I don’t know. I’m just really confused and unhappy. I hate myself and I just feel really unattractive. I’m also not very smart. I think I might drop out of law school, I’m barely passing and I definitely don’t have the smarts to pass the bar. I’m also very anxious, I’m on medication. I don’t know. Just venting and letting it all out. From 6 years ago, I lost 20 pounds (I’m 5 9, 162 lbs), but it really didn’t do anything. I tried to dress better, but I don’t really have any money. It’s just hard. Women make it seem so easy. I don’t know? I just know that I’m disappointed with myself and life. I cannot even get mad about her dating someone else. I just feel empty, I don’t know what to do. I just exist and nothing else. Maybe it’s because I’m on the spectrum, I don’t know. I just know I’m a fucking loser in life.