I've been lying to my grandma for the past 10 years and it's killing me inside

I'm gay. I've known I was gay since I was about 6-7. The problem is I come from a traditional Asian family. My grandma has always been the matriarch of our family even after my grandpa passed. She lives her life by the "traditional Asian rules" as I call it. One of those rules are that the only relationship acceptable is a straight one. I came out to my parents when I was 16. They said they supported me but warned me to never tell my grandma or my older brother and his wife. My grandma lives in Asia and we live in North America but my older brother and his family live close by so it's not hard to keep a secret from her.<br><br>I met my boyfriend in college. I brought him around my parents a few times. My dad and mom seemed to like him. In fact my dad liked him so much he took him aside and said he was happy I found "the one" and that he couldn't wait for us to get married. The relationship was going so good that I decided to introduce him to my brother and his family. He told me it was a terrible idea and that my boyfriend would be treated very poorly but I didn't listen. He was right. My brother and his wife treated my boyfriend terribly. My niece and nephew (both under 7) kept calling my boyfriend an "anti-social freak" and my brother kept taunting me saying I was living a "shameful life" and I needed to find a nice Asian woman to settle down with. My boyfriend and I left and never went back.<br><br>My grandma immigrated to North America last year after getting her papers. The idea was to have her live with my brother but after my boyfriend and I visited her a few times, she said she wanted to live with us instead. My parents said it would be fine since we had a big house and we could make her a room that's "similar to what she has back in Asia". I knew what my parents meant was that she would be living in my room. I had no problem with this. The problem was my boyfriend. We've been living together for about four years. We sleep in the same bed and I never hid it from my parents. The issue was where was my boyfriend going to go?<br><br>My parents told me to just send him back to his parents. I was shocked. I told them that was a ridiculous idea and I said they had no right to tell me that. They told me I was being selfish and I was ruining our family by "letting this anti-social freak into our family". I was so mad at my parents I yelled at them. I told them they had no right to call him anything and I told them I would move out with him if they kicked him out. They got angry and told me to move out then. My boyfriend packed his bags and we left.<br><br>I haven't talked to my parents since. They keep calling me to apologize but I don't want to talk to them. The problem is my grandma. She doesn't know where I am. She thinks I got a job elsewhere and that's why I'm not around. I can't let her know that my parents kicked me out. A few weeks ago my boyfriend and I went back to talk to my parents. My mom was the one who answered the door. She looked at my boyfriend then back at me and told me to go home. I told her I was home. She slammed the door in my face then called the police on us for trespassing. The only thing stopping her from getting me arrested was my boyfriend's mom. His mom is a lawyer and she came with us. She talked the police out of arresting me and my boyfriend.<br><br>I haven't talked to my mom since. My grandma keeps asking why I haven't come back. I told her I would be back on new years, but that's in a few days and I don't know what to do. I feel like if I don't tell the truth, my grandma will die thinking I'm straight. But if I tell the truth, I'll break my family apart and my parents will never forgive me. I feel like I'm in a lose-lose situation. For the past 10 years I feel like I've been living a lie. But I know if I tell the truth, my life will be ruined.