I (m28) hate my 3 year old and how he affected my life.

I have a 3 year old son. He’s the result of a one night stand and the mother wanted to terminate the pregnancy but I talked her out of it. She wanted nothing to do with the child so I got full custody and she gets to see him once a month for an hour in a public place.<br><br>I was a medical student (residency) when he was born and I had to quit my studies and get 2 jobs to support him. It was impossible to get a decent job and raise a child on my own without any help. <br><br>I have to rely on my father for financial help and my mother to babysit the child while I’m at work. I haven’t had any free time for myself since he was born. The only thing I do every day is work, take him to school, spend time with him and put him to bed only to do it all over again the next day.<br><br>I was always against having kids and now I’m stuck with one. I resent having to change my whole life for him. I feel like I lost myself in all this.<br><br>I’ve been trying to get back to medical school but it’s hard. Maybe this year will be different, I don’t know.<br><br>Ugh sorry for the rant. It’s just, sometimes I feel like I’m going to explode. <br><br>Edit: <br><br>Wow I did not think this post was going to blow up. Thank you all for the support and for the Tough love. <br><br>I understand that it’s not the child’s fault and that I did this to myself. I know I made a lot of mistakes in the past and there’s no excuse for that. I have been in therapy for over a year now. I admit I made mistakes but it doesn’t mean I have to punish myself for the rest of my life. <br><br>My son’s mom wanted to abort the baby and I had a say in it. I chose to keep him. I didn’t make the right decision and I have to own up to that. Doesn’t mean I should have to hate myself for the rest of my life.<br><br>A lot of people here made valid points. I appreciate that.<br><br>Edit 2:<br>Wow, the amount of DMs I’m getting from women and some men offering to be my baby sitter for my child is insane ??‍♂️. Thank you all, I appreciate it really.