What Surprised Me Most About Tinder

I started using tinder a couple of few months ago just to see what the hype was all about. I was curious about the modern dating experience. I didn't actually expect to get any dates, I saw it as an interesting "science experiment" or something. I've never been on a date, and never had a relationship. This is my 2nd one ever. Yes, I got a match that turned into a date. I was shocked, fell off my chair, cried and called my therapist. I thought that was the end of the world, I was so unprepared. That catapulted me into the dating world. Before that I didn't have any expectations from it, I was just playing and observing.<br><br>I was playing around with the app, exploring the huge amount of men I could match with. I was swiping almost blindly, not very carefully, with my thumb. I have swiped for over a thousand people, and I have matched with over a hundred. I have had a full 6 conversations. And with just 2 of them I went on a date. <br><br>What is remarkable, is that out of those 100 matches, I have had roughly 70 insults, 10 "women" to "help" me out, 3 knowing my name and one 3rd party app. I'm not counting some impressively strong racist remarks I have seen, I have stopped counting. <br><br>I am not stupid, I have some level of intelligence, it's just not that high. I'm not conventionally attractive, but I'm not ugly either. Also, I'm not looking for tinder relationships (fuck, that's a whole topic on its own), I'm not a tinder girl, I'm not looking for hookups. I'm just looking for regular conversation, to meet people, I'm open to dating, but above all I'm interested in finding a friend. I'm not looking for anything more complicated than that. <br><br>The main conclusions from my dating life are these:<br><br>1) Male entitlement is VERY strong. I have never met that kind of attitude before, male or female. I have met toxic women before, sure, but on a whole other level. There's nothing as dreadful as that level of arrogance, and that lack of respect. I had never met an arrogant person like that before.<br><br>2) Many many men are absolutely delusional. "this is a tinder family", "we have the same hair color, we can be tinder twins", "I'm getting a date with you, I can see it", "you need to go on a date with me because...", etc.,. I had no idea that men could be so...confident. Not all men are like that, I know. Not all guys are delusional. But some are. That's all I'm saying.<br><br>3) There's a level of disrespect and hostility that I have only seen in a few women. I believe it's a lot more frequent in men by now. Or maybe there's just this whole section of the male population that I had not been exposed to so far. I just didn't expect such a level of "rude". I still don't think all men are like this, or even most. But much more than I expected. Also, I have never met people this egocentric. <br><br>4) Most men don't know how to talk to a woman. They don't know how to do it. They don't know how to make a conversation, they don't know how to compliment, they don't know how to show interest. Also, there should be a class on how to flirt. I have never met men that couldn't flirt...it's not that they're bad at it, it's that they don't even know. Sometimes it's creepy, sometimes sad.<br><br>5) Modern society doesn't really care about women. I didn't know this. I used to trust people. I used to think that, even if we're not 100% equal, society cares enough. I thought we were getting somewhere, slowly but surely. But no. No. I'm heartbroken. I used to be extremely optimistic, and I'm not like that anymore. I accuse the patriarchy, and the fact that the world has been built this way from the beginning. I believe that we still have a long way to go, before we can reach equality. <br><br>6) The few conversations I have had were amazing. I have met some incredible people, who have left me with a positive impression. Yes, there are few, it's not most. I have met really good people along the road, who have restored my faith in humanity. Thank you, good people, I love you!<br><br>7) Tinder is made for men. Tinder is almost a joke to be played on women. And most men know this. I had no idea. I really didn't. I thought that it was a dating app. I didn't know it was some kind of hunting game. I had no idea. The few women I have met there, have been caring and sweet. I have met one woman who was rude. She offered to help me out. She said her name was Charles. I didn't believe her. I'm not stupid.<br><br>8) Men are insecure. Many are. I know all people are insecure, all of us. I'm incredibly insecure, almost crippled. But it seems like many men have some level of insecurity that I have never seen before. At least on this app. I have never met that level of anxiety. This is not something I knew. Also, most don't know how to deal with it, and will project their flaws on you.<br><br>Long post. I hope it was entertaining.