Once I started treating people like they're disposable, life has been so much better

This may sound backfaced or anything but for me this is true because I'm just tired to invest emotions, effort and time to people whom I'll eventually lose.<br><br>I felt like I invested my whole heart on people I used to love and care for however they're all gone now. <br><br>I felt used when I was younger, my family just uses me as a money machine and a dishwasher incidentally I also cook for them. My mom told me to stay single because they'll support me. They even use up my savings to pay for their bills and recently my mom asked me to pay for their electricity bill. I said no and now my dad said that they'll kick me out when I turn 28 (I'm 25 btw, boy they can't wait huh). I just let them have my savings however for some reason I always felt like hurting them because I feel like I'm disposable to them, because they invested but not enough. But I was wrong. They didn't even invested anything. They used me for their selfish reason.<br><br>I had a friend that used to bully me but when we got older, she said she's sorry and we became friends however during lock down I felt like she started to care less. It started when my mom kicked me out last year. My friend told me to stay the night however during those times I felt like she started to care less. I was wrong. It was not because she cares less but because I was a disposable friend that's all. There's incident that she asked me to pick her up from the mall because it's late. But she got mad because I picked her up late. Then I said "you don't have to care for me as much because you still have your friends and I'm just disposable friend and it's okay". But she got mad because "am I that disposable friend to you?!!" I just shrugged. But she felt bad and asked me to hug her however I started to let go. Because I felt like I'm disposable to her. I started to see that she only cares about me because of science however she told me she doesn't tolerate people who's bad to me. But I see she cares less every time we're together. She went to the mall with me last Sunday however for some reason I felt like she's already gone. For some reason I can't shake off the feeling that she doesn't care. I think it's because my heart already let go. When she said she never cared for me, I just shrugged. "Yeah you're right, you don't care but it's okay, you're disposable too". It hurts her bad. I'm sorry!<br><br>I just realized I'm bad at communicating with people who's bad at me and hurt me. I just want to move away from people who treats me bad.<br><br>I just realized that my heart already let go of everyone. My mom, dad, my friend. But why am I still here for my family? Am I a fool?<br><br>Also I'm not that pretty and understanding person.<br><br>I'm okay living alone and I like being alone.<br><br>For me I'm the only one I can count on.<br><br>I'm not good at reading people because they lie and that's okay. I'll just live my own way and not care about people who doesn't care about me.