AITA for telling my boyfriend I heard his friend say a racist phrase.

I am a white woman, my boyfriend is a white man and so are his friends. I am in a relationship with my boyfriend for 3 years. He has a group of friends from high school, I’m close with them especially one of them, let’s call him Jake. Jake is a great guy and I would say he’s close with me too. His parents are the owners of the restaurant where my boyfriend and I met. Jake and I click, we have the same sense of humor and a shared love for anime. Jake invited my boyfriend and I to his wedding and I’m one of his bridesmaids.<br><br>My boyfriend has another friend, let’s call him Nathan. Nathan is also a groomsmen and his girlfriend is also a bridesmaid. I don’t like Nathan much due to him being a racist and a bully. He used to bully me in middle school and called me a slur because he thought I was Asian. He found out I’m not and stopped but gave me other nicknames. In high school he told me and my friend to go back to our country. We reported him to a teacher who was friends with his parents and it got swept under the rug.<br><br>Nathan got in trouble at school for beating up a black student who he called the n word. He got suspended for a week and nothing else. I avoid Nathan as much as I can. My boyfriend says Nathan grew out of it and changed but I don’t think so. I don’t talk to him much at all, I keep our interactions short. My boyfriend invited Nathan to our apartment one time and he made racist comments about my figurines. He said they were “made by little Asian hands” and my boyfriend defended him and said “you know Nathan’s just joking, don’t take it seriously.”<br><br>Jake’s wedding was last week and it was a great time. At the reception Nathan kept making racist jokes and my boyfriend laughed. We had to walk to our cars after and Nathan made a comment about driving a Hyundai and how it was made by little Asian hands. I ignored it and kept walking. Nathan said it again and my boyfriend told him to stop. Jake walked up and asked what was happening and I told him that Nathan made an Asian racist joke. Jake told him to leave and Nathan called Jake a “little bitch”.<br><br>This last weekend my boyfriend was hanging out with Jake and Nathan and he heard me say I was glad we didn’t have to deal with Nathan at the wedding. I told him Jake and his wife looked very happy in their photos. He said they did and I said Jake’s a good guy. My boyfriend asked what I meant and I told him that Jake listened to me when I told him what Nathan said. My boyfriend asked what Nathan said and I told him the joke. I asked if he was going to defend Nathan again and he said he wasn’t but I don’t believe him. He asked why I waited until now to tell him when it happened at the wedding. I told him I didn’t say anything because he never listens to me when I tell him racist things Nathan said.<br><br>He asked me why I didn’t take him aside at the wedding and tell him but I told him I didn’t want to ruin the wedding and wanted to keep the vibe positive. I also told him I didn’t want to talk to him about it at the time because I knew he’d just defend Nathan again. My boyfriend said he didn’t know Nathan said that and he would talk to him if I wanted. I told him Nathan didn’t say that, he said it again and he called Jake a bitch when he was asked to stop. He said he’d talk to Nathan but I told him I think it’s better if Jake talks to Nathan. He said Nathan would listen to him more but I said Jake was right there when Nathan said it and Jake has more right to talk to Nathan than my boyfriend does.<br><br>My boyfriend got upset and left the house. I texted Jake and told him what Nathan said and that my boyfriend was upset with me for not telling him sooner. Jake said my boyfriend should have believed me and that Nathan was a racist piece of shit. My boyfriend came back and I could tell he was still mad. He asked if I told Jake and I said I did. He asked what Jake said and I showed him the text. He got mad and said Jake didn’t know the full story. I told him Jake knew enough and he’s right on the side of me and his wife. He said Jake doesn’t like Nathan much due to his sister dating a Hispanic man and Nathan not approving. I said that’s even more of a reason for Jake to talk to Nathan. Jake sent me a text and I showed it to my boyfriend. Jake said he’d talk to Nathan but he thinks Nathan won’t listen.<br><br>My boyfriend said Jake doesn’t get to talk to Nathan when he’s his friend. I said Jake has more right to talk to Nathan because he was there when Nathan said it. My boyfriend asked me if I was mad at him for some reason. I told him I’m mad at him for defending Nathan and not believing me when I tell him what Nathan says. He apologized and said he’d try harder to believe me in the future.