Smoking weed makes me think I'm not good enough but not smoking weed makes me feel like I can't stop!

I'm a 25 year old guy and I've had trouble with anxiety and depression. I've been using weed as a coping mechanism for a while now. I've read articles about weed being good for anxiety and depression but not if you smoke it too much. Then I read articles that say it's bad for you no matter what. I'm just so confused and don't know what to do. Some days it makes me feel really good and able to do things I need to do or want to do and then sometimes I'll smoke it and feel really down and like I'm not good enough. I feel like I'm in a loop of smoking weed, thinking I'm not good enough, not smoking weed so I feel good enough but then I just want to smoke weed again. I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm drowning in this cycle. I get really worried that weed is making things worse but I also really like smoking it. My friends don't understand that when I'm high I get anxious and feel really bad about myself. I wish they would relate but they don't. I'm really tired and I don't know what to do. I feel like I'm in a trap!