I Answered the Phone During a Mass Shooting. The Voice on the Other Line Changed My Life.

That day I was hiding with ten other scared strangers. A gunman was still at large, and we were the only people he hadn’t found yet. It was hard to tell how long we had been cowering in the supply closet for. Time seemed to lose all meaning when your life was in danger. <br><br>The door was barricaded, and we were as silent as possible. The only sound came from the periodic gunshots and cries for help. It was hard to ignore the terrible sounds, but we knew that if we were found, we would be shot. <br><br>In the darkness, I felt something vibrate. It was my cellphone. Shit, I thought. The shooter was only a few rooms away. If he heard it, he would know where we were. <br><br>The phone was on silent mode, so it wasn’t as loud as it could have been, but the vibration still made noise. I knew that I had to answer it to stop the noise. When I fumbled for the phone, my hand knocked against a few things, creating even more noise. I knew I had to hurry.<br><br>I was in a state of panic when my fingers finally found the phone. My hands were shaking as I accepted the call. I knew that the voice on the other side of the line was going to ask me a million questions, and the noise would become too loud for the shooter to ignore.<br><br>“Hello?” I whispered.<br><br>“Hello?”<br><br>I recognized the voice. It was my dad. <br><br>“What the fuck is happening, where are you?” he asked.<br><br>That’s when tears started to roll down my cheeks. I missed him so much since his passing. He was such an amazing father, and I had been a fucked up daughter. <br><br>“Daaaad.”<br><br>“Hello? Is this some kind of prank call? Answer me!”<br><br>My voice cracked as I spoke. “Daaaad, is that youuuu? I’ve missed you so much. Please don’t hang up. I’m so sorry. I was a bad daughter. I’m so sorry, please don’t hang up. I love you so much.”<br><br>“What the fuck is going on?” he asked, “You’re scaring me. Who is this? Stop fucking around.”<br><br>I started to sob uncontrollably. “I did all the things you warned me not to do. I did so many things wrong. I’m hiding in a closet with strangers because there is a shooter. I think we’re all going to die like this.”<br><br>“What? You better not be joking. Are you okay?”<br><br>I couldn’t stop crying, and I knew that the shooter was going to hear me. I was going to ruin everything for the people I was hiding with.<br><br>“I….I….I’m ssssorry. I know I did everything wrong. I didn’t think….I didn’t even think about….I didn’t even think about if I was going to wake up in the morning. I have been purposely trying to ruin my life for so long. I’m so ssssorry. Please forgive me.”<br><br>“Stop it. Stop crying. How did you get this number? What is going on with you? I don’t recognize your voice. Did you get the wrong number? What is your name?”<br><br>I was still crying when I gave him my name. He was silent for a moment, and I knew he was going to hang up the phone on me. Then he finally spoke. “Is that you, Sarah? That’s my daughter’s name. You’re not my daughter though, Sarah….she…..my Sarah…she killed herself. Is that you Sarah? Is that you Sarah….is that you? Sarah?” <br><br>I heard a knock at the door. The shooter had found us. I knew I was going to die, but I didn’t care. My father was on the phone. I had been given another chance to tell him how sorry I was. That was all I needed. <br><br>“Daaaad……”<br><br>“Sarah….is that you….Sarah?”<br><br>“I….I….I’m ssssoooo sorry. I was a bad daughter. I didn’t know how to….I didn’t know how to think about tomorrow. You always taught me to worry about tomorrow. You always taught me that I had to be prepared for….for….for anything. But I couldn’t think about tomorrow. All I could think about was today. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. I was a bad daughter.”<br><br>“Sarah….I don’t recognize your voice…..but if you’re my daughter…..You’re not a bad daughter. I love you so much. I’m so….so….so sorry that you felt this way. I should have….I should have seen it. I can’t imagine being in your shoes. You must have been so scared. But you’re not a bad daughter. You’re a great daughter. I love you Sarah.”<br><br>“Daaaad…..I love you too. That means so much to me…..thank you…..thank you so much…..”<br><br>“Sarah….I have to ask you something….are you….are you ok? Are you safe?”<br><br>“Yessss…..I’m safe…..I’m with some people….we’re hiding…..”<br><br>“Sarah…..if you’re….if you’re not safe….just hang up. That’s what you need to do. Just hang up the phone, and go get help. I want you to be ok….I want you to be happy….I want you to be safe.”<br><br>“I….no….I’m ok….I’m safe.”<br><br>“Sarah…..You need to get….hang up…..”<br><br>“No…..I don’t care….I don’t care…..I have to tell you….I have to tell you how sorry I am…..I did everything wrong…..I’m so sorry…..”<br><br>“Sarah….”<br><br>I heard the sound of the door breaking open. I knew that I had to hang up the phone. My father had told me to go get help. That’s what I had to do. I had to go get help. <br><br>“You’re a great daughter…..I love you…..I always will…..forever and always…..”<br><br>That’s the last thing I remember from the phone call. That’s the last memory I have from that day. <br><br>*****<br><br>Sarah was a good girl. Sarah was a good daughter. Sarah was a good person. I’m sorry that I couldn’t help her. I really am. But now that she’s gone, I get to talk to her everyday. I know that it’s not really her….I know it’s just some sick fucks dialing the wrong number…..but it’s enough. It’s enough for me to pretend. To pretend that my daughter isn’t dead. To pretend that Sarah is still alive. <br><br>I don’t care if it’s a prank call. I don’t care if it’s the wrong number. Sarah is back. At least for a minute….at least for a minute each day…..Sarah is back.