My husband nearly died from something I forgot on the day of his birth and it has nearly broken us both. I will never be able to forget the pain in my heart

Today is my husband’s birthday and while we intend to spend it with friends at his favorite restaurant and then the bar for the night, I am not so excited. <br><br>It has been 5 years since I met the love of my life, and 3 since we got married. You would think you know your husband but you don’t. You can be married for 30 years and still not know everything about him.<br><br>My husband is my everything. We were growing old together, or at least I thought we were. This was the first year but I kept forgetting something that he had told me 3 years ago on our wedding night, and I never knew that my husband’s life depended on it. <br><br>So, on our wedding night, my husband told me that he had a drug allergy and that any kind of pain killer made him sick. At the time I didn’t know what kind of pain killers made him sick, and he didn’t tell me. I was so excited to be married and ready to settle in with my husband that the topic of pain killers were the last thing I cared about and I completely forgot that he told me that. <br><br>Today, when he came home, he was sick. His face was pale and he looked tired. I asked him what happened and he told me that he had broken his hand at work. He said he was worried that he wouldn’t be able to make it home and that he could hear himself calling for me, but he thought it was a dream. He nearly died. <br><br>I asked him how it happened and then he told me that he had nearly died because of my dumbness. I didn’t know what it meant, but I asked him. He told me that when he got to the hospital, one of the nurses gave him a pill that he took. He said he didn’t expect anyone to give him a pill and that he could only say that he is allergic to something, but he couldn’t say what. He said he had told them about his allergy, but they didn’t take him seriously and thought he was joking. He said that they only took him seriously when he started bleeding and that they thought he had taken something bad. <br><br>But that wasn’t all. He said that it was just the beginning and that he lost consciousness after that. He said that he could hear the doctors calling him, but he thought it was a dream. He said he was scared and worried about me and our dogs because he could hear that he was dying. He said that he saw the doctors crying as they were pumping and pumping his heart into working again, but that his heart just wouldn’t pump. <br><br>He said he was scared to the death, thinking that he would never be able to see me or the dogs again. He said he was crying as he remembered our wedding and him telling me not to forget his allergy. He said one of the doctors started crying for me, knowing that I would never be able to see him again. <br><br>I bursted into tears when I heard this. I couldn’t believe what I was hearing. I forgot to tell them that he is allergic, and he nearly died. I am already blaming myself, but I know that it is not my fault. But the pain and the guilt in my heart is killing me. My husband nearly died because of me. <br><br>But I am going to spend his birthday with him and friends, and I am going to forget that it is his birthday, act dumb and happy, and pretend that nothing happened. The pain in my heart is killing me, but I am going to swallow it all. <br><br>I am going to wipe my tears and cry again, because I am not important. What I am feeling is not important. I am going to celebrate and pretend that I am happy and act like I am not going insane because I forgot something that could have killed him. <br><br>I am going to pretend that I am happy to have him here, and I am, but they took so much from him. He nearly died, and he remembered our wedding. He remembered how much we love each other and how much he loves me. He remembered what I mean to him and how much I mean to him. And the pain in his eyes as he tells me what happened is killing me. <br><br>I love my husband more than anything, and I am going to pretend that I am happy that he is here in front of me. I am going to pretend that I am happy that he is alive and well, but the truth is that I am not. I am not happy to forget everything. I am not happy to pretend. I am not happy.