I’m a plus-sized woman and I hate being fetishized

Hey everyone. I know this is a fat fetish chamber and I’m not here to kink shame anyone, but as a plus-sized woman myself, I have something to say. Before I get any further with this post, I want to make it clear that I take full responsibility for choosing to post here. I understand that this sub is centered around fat fetishism and so, I fully expect some negative reactions from this post in particular. Please just know that I’m not here to offend or annoy anyone and I’m not here to guilt trip people into changing their preferences.<br><br>I’ve been PLUS-SIZED since I was a teenager and I’ve always known that I attract a certain subset of men. Men that fixate on my weight, my figure and my shape above all else. These are the men that regularly visit this chamber and many other similar chambers, Facebook groups, Instagram accounts and other online spaces centered around fat fetishism. The men that message me on social media and ask me to abuse my health by gaining weight specifically for them. The men that approach me in public places and ask me to do dehumanizing things like sit on my face or feed into their other humiliating fetishes. And of course, the men that have been open about their fetish with me during romantic dates. The men who have told me that I’m their preferred body type because of my curves, or the fat on my ass, or the way I wobble when I walk.<br><br>I want to make it very clear that I am not trying to speak for every PLUS-SIZED woman. I’m sure that there are plenty of women who would never be bothered by this kind of attention. But I’ve never been one of those women. Since I was a teenager, I have been desperate to find someone who would love me for who I am as a person. Someone who sees beyond my physical appearance. Someone who would care for me whether I was skinny, average or fat. But with every year that passes, it becomes more and more apparent that this kind of acceptance is nearly impossible for me. No matter where I go or who I meet, I’m constantly dealing with men who fetishize me. And I’ve finally come to realize that the reason I can’t escape this kind of attention is because it’s so rampant online and because it’s normalized by people like those on this subreddit.<br><br>Most people in the fat fetish community will argue that they aren’t body shaming or dehumanizing women because they’re doing the opposite - they fetishize and idolize BBW. They make us feel wanted and desired when the rest of the world is telling us that we should be ashamed of our bodies. They argue that we should be grateful for their attention because we’d otherwise be invisible. But I’m not grateful. In fact, I find this kind of thinking to be incredibly insulting.<br><br>If you truly want to idolize BBW, then you should get to know us. Learn about our lives, our passions and our interests. Learn how to care for us and make us happy. Learn what makes us unique as individuals. That’s what every woman wants, fat or skinny or anything in between. And yes, even if we happen to be promiscual, there’s nothing wrong with that. Women can sleep around and have casual sex all we want and that doesn’t change the fact that we deserve to be cared for like human beings, not fetishized like we’re sex dolls.<br><br>But the men in this chamber and other similar communities aren’t interested in that. They don’t want to know us on a personal level. They don’t care about our individuality. They don’t even care about our health or our well-being. All they care about is how big our butts are and what we look like when we’re eating or having sex or doing all kinds of humiliating acts. They don’t see us as people. They don’t see us as women. They see us as body types. Stereotypes. And that’s what I resent so much about this fetish.<br><br>In recent years, I’ve been reading a lot of posts on this chamber that were made by men who were shocked that the women they fetishized didn’t appreciate their attention. They would post things like, “I was flirting with a fat cashier today and she seemed offended” or “I told a fat girl at work that I think she’s sexy but she didn’t seem to care. What went wrong?” There have even been times when I personally told men who were flirting with me that I found their attention offensive, and they would message me back saying, “But I was giving you a compliment?” It boggles my mind that there is a subset of men out there who can’t seem to understand why this kind of attention is hurtful and offensive for women like me. Why it makes us feel like we’re nothing more than objects to them.<br><br>I think the main issue here is that these men see women like me through the prism of their own fetish. They genuinely believe that if a fat woman is flirting with them, she must also fetishize her own body in the same way that they fetishize it. They think that we get bored sleeping with men who see us as people and that we crave the attention of men who fetishize us because it’s more taboo. They think that we secretly love being idolized for our curves. But this couldn’t be further from the truth. The truth is that fat women don’t give a shit about this fetish. We aren’t impressed by men who approach us solely because of our weight. I know that I would never date a man who approached me solely because of my body.<br><br>The other issue that I see is that men in this community tend to see themselves as victims when their advances are rejected. They get offended when a fat woman isn’t grateful for their attention. They messaging us, sending us pictures of their dicks and harassing us in public spaces. They truly believe that they have done nothing wrong, that they were simply trying to give us a compliment and nothing more. But the truth is that they aren’t trying to give us compliments at all. They’re trying to satisfy their own sick desires. They’re trying to make us into their personal sex toys. They see us as objects and not as people, and they believe that they’re entitled to pursue their fetishes without boundaries or consequences. <br><br>I’m not the only fat woman who feels this way. I know plenty of fat women who have been approached by men and were made to feel like they were nothing more than a fetish to them. Women who were asked humiliating questions, sent dehumanizing messages and approached in public spaces. In return, these men see themselves as victims. They see fat women as the bullies because we aren’t flattered by their attention. I know that I can’t change the way that men in this community see us. I can only speak for myself. But for me, there is nothing more dehumanizing than being treated like a fetish. There is nothing that I resent more about being treated like a piece of property. There is nothing that I hate more than being fetishized.<br><br>So let this post be my formal rejection of this fetish and of the men in this community who fetishize women like me. I’m not honoring you or idolizing you. I’m not impressed by your attention and I’m not grateful for it. I’m not seeking your validation. I’m not here to satisfy your fetishes. I’m not interested in your sexual desires. I’m not here to make you feel good about yourself at my expense. I hate that you see me the way that you do. I hate that you approach me the way that you do. I hate that you fetishize me and my appearance. I hate that you see me as a PLUS-SIZED woman and not as a person. And I hate that I can’t escape your kind of attention no matter where I go or who I meet.