I’m a nihilist—No, I’m not sad

There is a widespread belief that nihilists are a bunch of sad people who don't want to live or who want to destroy what other people have built. But I am not a nihilist because I'm sad. I want to live, to love, to be a friend, to build, etc. The difference is that I don't care about leaving a legacy behind me, leaving a mark in history, leaving a great message for posterity, or building anything that tries to transcend death. I am a nihilist because I don't believe in things that transcend the finite life of the human being, or that promise more than it offers.<br><br>For me, nihilism is not living in a state of desperation, sadness, or hopelessness. I don't feel the weight of existence, nor do I worry about the meaning of life. I don't sit in my room wondering what purpose I have in this world. I can get out of my house, go for a walk, dance, sing, party, work, read, write, learn, and laugh. And at the same time continue to be a nihilist.<br><br>But I am not an optimist. I am not naive. I know that I am going to die one day and therefore I will not worry about what I will leave behind after my death, I will worry about living in the best way possible. Nihilism does not mean rejoicing in the collapse of civilization; it means being aware that human existence is finite and that it is impossible to transcend death.<br><br>Nor am I a pessimist. I am not here to destroy or criticize everything others have built. I’m not here to complain all day. I want to build new things—on a small scale, not a grandiose scale. I want to live. I know that my existence is finite, but I also know that I have moments to enjoy life and I want to take advantage of that. I am not here to be the gravedigger, as some philosophers have said, because I do not believe in things that pretend to be more than they actually are.<br><br>My family, friends, and acquaintances are important to me. I am not here to destroy what others have built. I'm not here to despair over things. I want to be happy, I want to live and grow. I want to learn, to read, to write. I'm not here to complain. I am aware of the world and its problems, but I am not going to dwell on the negative.<br><br>And that seems to be the point—is to learn to live with what we know, but not to dwell on it. We must learn to live with the unknown and the contradictions. It's okay to know things and not be okay with them. But we must learn to live (and not be afraid to die). Learning to live (and to die) with our knowledge, contradictions, and ambiguities. This is what I want.<br><br>I want to be what I am, in this moment. I want to be a person who lives, works, and dies, without expecting anything in return, without expecting any reward. I want to work because I feel like it, not because I want to gain something from it. I want to love because I feel like it. I want to grow up because I want to, not because someone tries to force me to.<br><br>And I think that's the point—is to want to live, and to be able to do it to the fullest, leaving aside any idea of ​​transcendence or promise of reward, leaving aside any idea of ​​duty or obligation.<br><br>I am a nihilist. I am not worried about leaving a mark in history. The world is not a canvas, and I am not here to paint my masterpiece. I will paint or write, be a friend, be a wife, build, enjoy, and live for the sake of living. I am not here to fulfill any purpose. I am here because I am here.