AITA for jokingly taking my wife's last name and sending legal documents to her family?

My wife and I are both USA citizens just living abroad for work. Both 32 years old now, we met when I was 25, and married at 27. I've changed some details for the sake of keeping things inviduals private. USA just passed the Respect For Marriage Act, so I celebrate that.<br><br>My wife is European and of the belief that when you marry, you become a family and you do things together, and also that you have to respect tradition. We had a massive fight about her wanting to take her last name. In Europe, women don't change their last name when they get married, but they will do the "Both/And" format, when children are then given the father's last name. In USA culture, the tradition is for the wife to take the last name of the husband when they get married. So I wanted us to do that. But she felt that was offensive to her parents, so they could not pass down their name to their only child, a daughter. I felt it was offensive to my parents, so they could not pass down their name to their only child, a son.<br><br>We were at an impasse. She kept insisting that it was only a small thing, and that it would make her very happy to keep her last name, and she felt that she didn't have the right to take my last name because she was a daughter and not a son. I felt that husbands and wives should have the same last name, as a way of demonstrating their commitment together. She didn't see the USA in the same way, since she was European, she was just here for work.<br><br>So to break the deadlock, I said that it was fine, but that I would take her last name instead. She was surprised at that choice, but very happy that we could settle this so she could keep it. <br><br>While USA is very pro-women changing their last name, Europeans do not do that. So when she told her parents that I had changed my last name to hers, they were mortified at the idea. They called her jokingly to say that she had 'feminized' me. They were just upset that their daughter could not pass down the name to her children.<br><br>I was very upset by this. I felt that they were being sexist, treating me like less of a man for taking my wife's last name. USA is very much a "personal choice" nation, and the idea of men being shamed for taking their wife's last name was just beyond anything I'd heard in my life. So I decided to teach them a lesson.<br><br>I legally changed my last name, and then I sent all the documents and forms to her parents, and every member of her family, plus their close friends. I sent copies to her former boss, and I told them all that she made me take her last name because she felt she had to pass down her family name to our future children, and that I was happy to take her last name because I loved her. Then I included copies of paperwork for her company and the government so that they can update my paperwork to reflect my new last name.<br><br>Her parents were absolutely horrified when they got the letter. They did not want the proof in their possession, because it would shame them to have it, and shame for them to send it back. And they also didn't want to be in a position where they had to explain it to everyone else, and other people asking about the documents. They called me and said that what I did was "a betrayal" and that "you go too far". They said it was a "prank gone too far". But I said I was just trying to demonstrate why I think it is sexist for them to shame me for taking her last name, and that I would do anything for her, even change my last name to hers, because it was a small thing that meant a lot to her.<br><br>They said that I need to change my name back, and I said that's fine, when she drops her last name and changes it to mine. They said that she'd never do that, so then I said that I'd never change back. So they then said that they cannot attend our wedding, because they cannot condone us getting married under these terms.<br><br>AITA here?