We had our biggest fight of our 15 year marriage over money

Me 45, M25 and my wife 36, F24 are both middle class Americans with three little kids. <br><br>I work as a nurse practitioner and my wife is working as an ICU nurse. We make a combined income of 230,000 per year. We live in a 470,000 house which is pretty much average in our area. We have two cars and both are Toyotas. We also have a Suzuki Grizzley ATV to ride in the mountains and a Can-Am Maverick side by side that we also ride in the mountains. We have an above ground pool and a decent home gym. <br><br>Everything was great. Now with the recession and inflation I’m worried about the future of both of our jobs and the economy in general. I tried to have a discussion with my wife about what we would do and she was like “why are you worried about it?”. I told her I was worried about not being able to put food on the table or that we’d have to file for bankruptcy, and she was like “come on! We’re fine” and I was like “but what about all the other people that thought they were fine and lost their homes?”. <br><br>She got frustrated with me and said I was scarying her so I decided to show her how we would cut our expenses and told her we’d have to sell the house, the cars, the pool, the side by side, the only above ground pool the kids have ever known, the house gym where we work out together. She got very angry and what little respect I had for her went out the window. I told her to get her s**t together and then I went upstairs and slammed the door. <br><br>I’ve always known she was a waste of money but when we got married I did expect some level of maturity, so to learn she had none at all was very disappointing. I’ve been frugal all my life and have only gotten more frugal with time, but she’s only become more wasteful. I’m appalled and shocked and I’ve literally never been more disappointed in my entire life. <br><br>We’ve had a very happy marriage, we have a very healthy relationship, we have great communication and besides her spending habits we see eye to eye about everything. We have sex every day, sometimes twice. She’s always taken care of herself and looks really good. We have a lot of fun together. But today I’m just so disappointed and hurt. <br><br>I want to be able to provide for my children. I want to be able to give my family the best life. But my wife seems like she doesn’t care about any of this. <br><br>After I went upstairs she came up and said she feels like she’s being judged and that she can’t be perfect like me. I’m not perfect, I’m hard on myself because I know I have a big responsibility to my children. <br><br>I told her that I’m sorry and asked her if we could begin the discussion again. We’ll probably be okay. I’m just feeling very hurt and disappointed.