TLDR; I sawed a Bunker Beneath my 4 story house with a plan to abduct an underaged girl that i love.

I'm a 28 years old software engineer, i'm pretty much a nerd and socially awkward, i'm not good at making friends or approaching people, not to mention i'm balding at 28, life is kinda tough on me. i live alone in a 4 story house that my father build before he passed away, i'm comfortable and stable but i'm not happy at all, i don't have many friends, i do get approached by some women but usually for my money, i'm not a good looking guy. all i have is video games, anime, and pornography. <br><br>When it comes to pornography, i'm a pedophile, and i'm not gonna sugar coat this, i'm attracted to underaged girls, not all of them, just a certain age group, and not all the time, but most of it. i also watch normal porn, but i get more pleasure from minor porn. now i'm not gonna act like "BUT I DON'T TOUCH KIDS, IT'S JUST A FANTASY!!!", no, i want kids, and not just any kids, but a Specific little girl named Sarah. she's 12 years old, very smart and beautiful, i'm just physically and mentally attracted to her, and she doesn't know yet, i hope not at least. <br><br>Sarah Lost her parents in an accident, and she lives alone, i know this for a fact because i'm a creep, i would stalk her, steal her underwear, take pictures of her while she's sleeping, i know everything about her. one day, i had this brilliant idea, i sawed a Bunker beneath my house, just a room that's not connected to anything, basically a windowless room, it's not big, but it can hold 2 people, i furnished it, and stocked it with food, and water, and some other things, like a blow up mattress, and a bathroom, the whole plan was to abduct her, and make her mine, i planned to keep her there until she was old enough to be mine, i know it's wrong, i know it's fucked up, i'm not insane, i know what i'm doing, it's wrong, but i can't help myself, i love her, i love her so much. but the more i planned the abduction, the more i realized how fucked up, and how evil it is, this isn't love, this is something else, something that i don't know, something that i don't want to do anymore, i'm done. and so is the plan. i'm not gonna abduct Sarah, and i'm gonna delete all the stuff i have on her, i'm just gonna leave her alone, i'm not gonna approach her, i'm not gonna even look at her, for my own good, and hers. i still have the bunker beneath my house though, i don't think i'm ever gonna use it, but it's there. <br><br>Finally, if you're wondering, no, i'm not using a throwaway account, this is my main, i'm not gonna delete this post, because this is something i need to get off my chest, and because i'm not ashamed, i'm not gonna kill myself or anything, or seek help, i'm just gonna leave Sarah alone, and move on, hopefully meet someone else. and get over this obsession, i'm not insane, and i'm not a monster.