I fell in love with a dead woman

Last year I stopped smoking. It was a tough process and I needed something to occupy my thoughts for long enough that my body forgot all about cigarettes. I decided to learn to drive. Short story short, I never actually end up doing it and there’s a good reason for that. I chose a good school to learn in and I was assigned a new instructor, a white guy with a short buzz cut and a small amount of facial hair. I don’t know what it is, but the 1st thing I noticed about him was something about his eyes seemed off. The actual colour was very interesting though. Not really blue, not really green, but just something in between. I shook this off and I got in the car after we introduced ourselves. He seemed like a very quiet guy, but I’d just quit smoking so I was much more focused on not chewing my fingers to dust. We had to drive somewhere familiar to me, so I could get used to the whole driving thing. I chose a beach that was about 2 hours from where I lived. I can’t tell you the name of it, but it was the only place I would rather be than home. My instructor didn’t seem to be into the idea of driving 2 hours everyday, he said he’d rather just stick to the small park nearby. I guess when you spend your whole day in the car you don’t see the road in the same way as everyone else, maybe even the idea of driving for fun was laughable. Maybe he was just sick of seeing the same places all the time, it’s not like you get to choose where people take you. I changed my mind, I said that I’d drive to the small park instead. It was only 20 minutes away, but with all the traffic we ended up being late anyway, so I drove my instructor somewhere else. His plan was to stay on the big road for a few miles, and then take a right onto a rural road. Then we’d follow it for a few miles more and take another right. He assured me that this route would bring us to our destination after a nice drive through nature. I think it was because the instructor was so quiet that made me talk so much, but he’d just shrug and smile when I stopped for long enough to look at him, expecting some sort of answer, before I continued talking as if he’s responded. I didn’t mind this much, I think it’s the same reason why people talk to plants, or stuffed animals. I just liked hearing the sound of my own voice, but I wasn’t really saying anything of note. I was just rambling about nothing in particular. The road took us straight through a forest and a tunnel. I remember being terrified of tunnels, I don’t know why. This one was smaller compared to the ones I was used to and it seemed to be made from rock, like a cave, rather than concrete, but my hands still started to shake as I slowed down to stop. “Why are you stopping?” My instructor said. I looked in the rearview mirror to see if anyone was behind us. The road was wide enough that I could pull over to the side if needed, but I didn’t see anyone. The road ahead of me was completely empty. My instructor leaned towards me and opened the window. My brain was going so slow, it was a while until I even noticed. The road ahead of me, which should have been the tunnel, was open space. I looked at my instructor. His eyes were glowing. The next thing I remember, I woke up in my own bed. It was 7:45 AM on the morning before my first lesson. I knew what day it was because I’d set my alarm for 9:00. I’d also remembered the events of my first lesson. I couldn’t explain what had happened. I didn’t feel confused, or scared, or disoriented, I don’t even think I felt shocked. I felt as calm as if I was having a regular day, but it wasn’t a regular day, it was the day before the last day. I thought about cancelling. I’d never even met the guy and yet he’d already fuck with my whole timeline. But I decided that I would anyway. I was more curious about him now, and I’d just have a weird dream to tell him. I’m sure you can imagine, the second time this happened, I was much more shocked. The same thing happened, exactly the same. I woke up on the morning before my first lesson. I stopped smoking. The instructor had the same eyes and the same buzz cut, he drove me down the same road, through the same forest and into the same tunnel. I stopped. My instructor leaned towards me and opened the window, and... The next thing I remember, I woke up in my own bed. It was 7:45 AM, on the morning before my first lesson. I wasn’t shocked this time. I was angry. The idea that I had no control over my life was terrifying. I could never change my life the way I intended, or make new choices, or do anything different. I was being stopped at every step of the way. The next few lessons were the same. I fell in love the second I saw her. My instructor leaned towards me. I woke up in my own bed. I couldn’t explain what was happening, it was like I was living in a time loop. I couldn’t change anything, so I tried to make the most of what little spare time I had. To be honest with you, I don’t know what my life was like beforehand. I never really thought about it. Everything before the loop was a gaping hole of nothingness. I never thought about it and I never thought about changing it. But I did try to change the lesson. I decided to go to the small park. It was the same. I decided to drive to my instructor’s house instead. It was the same. The next few times, I tried something different. I tried to take the left road, but it didn’t exist. I tried to take the right road on the wrong turn, it didn’t exist. I tried not to take the road at all, but it was the only road there. I tried to drive backwards, but it didn’t work. I tried to go on foot, but I couldn’t walk any faster than I was driving. I tried to get out of the car and walk, but I didn’t have time. We always stopped at the same time, at the same spot. I ran out of ideas and I didn’t know what I was doing. I was angry, but I was tired. It was endless and nothing seemed to work. I thought about explaining it to my instructor. I thought about explaining it to my friends. I thought about explaining it to my family. I tried, but the words left me as I thought about it. I thought about calling for help, but how would I explain it? I thought about screaming, but nobody would hear me. I’d lost everything, my life, my choices, my control. I’d lost everything except her. I’d lost everything except her. I’d lost everything except her. The first time I saw her I’d forgotten about the loop. I forgot about it every time I saw her. She was the only thing I could think of. She had the longest hair, the longest legs and the longest eyelashes. She had the whitest skin and the best lips. Her eyes were black, and I could only see them by the light of a nearby lamp. She was dead. But I didn’t care. She was the best thing that ever happened to me. I don’t know why. I just loved her. She was wearing a wedding dress. She was in a wedding dress, she was in a car, she was driving it. She was driving it straight at me. The road was empty, it was just me and the oncoming car. I forgot about the loop the moment I saw her. My instructor leaned towards me and opened the window. The next thing I remember, I woke up on the morning before my first lesson. I’d stopped even trying to change the route, I’d given up, I didn’t want to. I’d stopped talking so much. I took the right road, the right road, the tunnel, the road ahead of me was open space. I saw her the second I looked in the rear view mirror. She was much closer than I’d expected. I looked at my instructor, he smiled. I looked at her. I smiled. I leaned towards her. I opened the window. She’d been driving so fast, there was no chance of survival. The next thing I remember, I woke up on the morning before my first lesson.

I fell in love with a dead woman

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