I ghosted a colleague when he asked me out because I didn't want to ruin our working relationship. I find out today he's been pining for me for the last two years.

I (28F) work in a lab. When I first joined, I was very self conscious of my looks. I'm not particularly pretty, but I'm in good shape. I try to show my self worth through my work, because that's where I feel valued. I found that if I didn't make an effort with my appearance, I felt worthless. When I started my new job, I made a lot of effort with my appearance, which caused a lot of attention. I got a lot of attention from one of my colleagues, let's call him Jake (around 30). Jake is definitely one of the better looking guys in the lab, and every girl fancied him, but he showed me a lot of attention. It made me feel great and I was so flattered when, one day, he asked me out for a drink. <br><br>I had already decided that I didn't want to mix work and rencontres because I'd had a bad experience in a past job where a relationship went sour and the working relationship was awkward. When Jake asked me out, my brain just froze and I didn't answer him. I just ignored him and ran away. It was awful. For about a month, I avoided him like the plague and he started to ignore me too. When we were alone, he'd sometimes make a bit of conversation, but it was just awkward.<br><br>Jake is a crucial person in our working team, and since I joined the company, I've gone on to work on several projects with him. In the last two years, we've become closer and closer, but platonic. It's not a close friendship, but we definitely get on really well considering it was such an awkward situation. Sometimes, he'll make a comment about what I'm wearing, but it's nothing that makes me feel uncomfortable. I'm just a bit embarrassed that my reaction was so strong. <br><br>Today, I was discussing with Jake about a project and at the end, we started making small talk. It was very casual and there was a lull in conversation, so to fill the awkwardness, I said, laughing, "Hey Jake, do you remember that time you asked me out for a drink and I didn't answer? You must have thought I was such a b!tch!" <br><br>There was a pause, and he looked at me, smiling wistfully, and said, "Yeah, I was really upset by it. I didn't think you'd seen me trying to get your attention. I liked you a lot and I was really gutted. But it's okay, I get it. I still really like you, but it's okay."<br><br>I didn't know what to say. I was flabbergasted. I said "Jake, I'm so sorry. I didn't answer you because I wasn't trying to be a b!tch, you're a valued colleague and I didn't want to ruin our working relationship!" <br><br>He smiled and said "Don't worry about it. We've always gotten along and I'm glad we still do. If I'm being completely honest with you, you are one of the reasons I haven't left the company. Even though you rejected me, I still really liked talking to you and working with you, and I still do. I hope you don't feel embarrassed, but I just wanted to let you know how I feel."<br><br>That was the end of the conversation, but it's been on my mind ever since. I don't know what to do. I feel overwhelmed by his admission. Honestly, I've always found him attractive, but I still don't want to mix work and dating. But hearing what he said earlier made me feel so happy and appreciated. I feel bad that I hurt his feelings but I was given the opportunity today to just explain what happened. <br><br>It feels like I've been given a second chance and I don't know what to do.