My partner has a spending problem - how do I approach this and get him to change?

And in case you think I have a spending problem oh no, I am a hardcore saver! Basically everything I buy is second hand and my only big expenses are my car and trips home to visit my family, and even those I always try to save up for and look for the cheapest options. <br><br>Anyway, my partner is German and Germans apparently don’t believe in credit and he also feels really guilty when he saves money. He justifies it by saying he works hard for his money and he can afford it but it’s still really hard for me to cope with. <br><br>He has completely different money habits than me, he will like buy apples directly from the farmer, but we’re not even in the countryside and instead he drives to buy apples from somewhere an hour away just because it’s “quality and “authentic”. But I personally don’t care about that and I work hard for my money and I also understand how money works and I know it’s an expense I don’t need to make and I shouldn’t justify it. <br><br>That being said he also spends money on quality items that last him a long time, like a good wallet and bag and boots. He’s very picky about the quality of what he buys but I don’t think that’s an excuse to spend money on stuff we don’t need. <br><br>I’ve tried talking to him about my worries before and he always tells me to be more German about it and live a little, because I “stress too much about money and I need to let go of that and enjoy my life”. But I feel like that’s a very privileged view, we’re both 25 and as someone who has experienced poverty I think saving money is very important and I’m scared for our future if he keeps spending like this. We have been living together since March and he has spent thousands of dollars on useless stuff. <br><br>He also orders takeout all the time and spends like 50 dollars a time and I’m like, “dude, you’re German, you know how to cook. We have all these German cookbooks and you know how to make all these delicious meals” and he’s like “yeah I’m tired and I don’t have time, I don’t wanna worry about that” like wtf? You’re not even 30 and you already don’t feel like cooking? I have German friends and none of them are like this, they all cook and save and live within their means. <br><br>It worries me because we talk about moving to Germany together someday and I know he wants to settle down and live in a different city and he wants us to have kids and stuff and I know it’s expensive and I think saving money is reasonable and not a bad thing, I don’t stress about money, I just like to be in control and have a budget. I don’t think that’s frugal, that’s reasonable. I feel like he’s being irresponsible and it worries me because I don’t know what the future will bring in terms of expenses and stuff and I need to be able to rely on him. <br><br>How should I approach him about this? I’ve already talked to him but he got defensive and said I was judging him and that I as a woman I’m visibly stresses about money because I have no right to tell him how to spend his money. I thought that was misogynistic but maybe I’m being a bitch and I overreacted. <br><br>I just feel like we have completely different money habits and I’m not sure how to compromise because I don’t want to end up stuck with all the saving and him just spending everything and I do think it’s a problem if someone is always spending money on useless shit.