My (34m) wife (32f) got a job in another city, commutes 4 hours one way every Sunday night to work all week, but have decided she is OWED the weekend to herself to do as she pleases. How do I discuss this with her?

I've been married for 8 years. My wife works in finance, and her office is 4 hours away from us. She's been commuting for nearly 3 years, leaving on Sunday night and coming home on Friday. We have a 3 year old daughter, and my in-laws moved in with us 2 years ago. <br><br>My wife found a new job in the same city as her current one, and will be starting in three weeks. We've discussed but not agreed on details of the future, my preference is she commutes the same as before; my in-laws say she should move closer and only come home on weekends. She has mentioned a few different possibilities but has not stated a preference. I think she wants to move closer too, but hasn't said so out right. <br><br>Here's the problem: my wife has decided that she is OWED the weekend to herself no matter what. This has been going on for over a year. By "to herself" she means she goes to bed at 8pm, and sleeps in until noon, in the en suite attached to our bedroom. This has driven a rift between her and her family. Her father has gotten used to us going for a walk after breakfast on Saturday morning, but the last time he asked she got mad at him for asking her to do anything. She has stopped going to church with us; in fact she doesn't leave the bedroom most Saturdays. Sundays she gets up at 6am, and goes to the gym (she has to be gone by 3pm) <br><br>I have no issue with her chilling in bed all Saturday. I do have an issue with her "being owed" this. OWED. It's a debt she has stated that I owe along with the rest of her family. We owe her this much free time because of the commute. Does she "owe" us all week while she lives in her apartment and only comes home on weekends? Or is it only a one way "debt"? <br><br>She's stated she is going to continue this forever no matter what, even if she stops commuting. What if we move closer to her? It won't change; she will still go to bed at 8 and sleep until noon no matter if she has a 10 minute commute or 4 hour. <br><br>I feel this is going to be a problem in the future. If she moves closer but keeps this schedule, she will be there 5 days a week, but doesn't live with us. She will go home after work and go to bed. I will have to hire someone to pick up our daughter from daycare, because my in-laws will be out with my wife doing whatever they want to do. And on the weekends she will literally ignore us and go to bed at 8pm. <br><br>TLDR: how do I have this conversation with her? She seems to think she absolutely deserves this alone time on weekends no matter what, and is angry when I bring it up.