UPDATE: I (M34) found my (F35) wife’s secret Tinder account. It was opened before we started dating

Thanks for all the comments on my original post. I really appreciated them.<br><br>Unfortunately, I didn’t get to update the post as I would have liked since it got locked really quick.<br><br>Down below is some more context and the update about the situation.<br><br>**_more context about my previous post:_**<br><br>I didn’t reply to any comments on my previous post because I was honestly in a rush.<br><br>Just to clarify, it is legal in my state to be married and date while separated, as long as you’re not having sex with the other person. Lawyer confirmed.<br><br>My wife and I were in a trial separation for two years, with the plan to get a divorce. We were living in the same apartment, but in different bedrooms. No shared finances. At one point, we were even considering a divorce having both spouses as co-parents, but living in different houses.<br><br>I blocked my wife on social media and we had very little contact.<br><br>In the beginning of this year, we had a lengthy conversation about our relationship, which made me realize I still loved her. I also found out she still loved me. We decided to give things another chance and started seeing each other.<br><br>We hung out for a few weeks and, after I discovered she was pregnant, I proposed again. I was over the moon and wanted to spend the rest of my life with her.<br><br>I also talked things through with my lawyer and he told me it was safer to get the divorce called off and get married again instead. According to him, this would be a more stable family setup for our kid.<br><br>**_what happened after my previous post:_**<br><br>After my previous post, I took a deep breath, printed the screenshots and talked things through with my wife. I didn’t shout at her or throw a tantrum. I told her I was concerned and touched on a few of the points you guys posted.<br><br>She was in tears the whole time and told me she wasn’t cheating. She would never cheat and didn’t even consider it.<br><br>She told me that she matched with him to feel better. She was lonely during our separation and needed to feel desired. They only had conversations, nothing more. I asked to see screenshots, she agreed.<br><br>I asked if she was going to delete it. She agreed, I watched her do it.<br><br>A few hours later, I was still salty. I asked if I could talk to him, she said no. We had a minor argument, but nothing serious. She told me that she was going to send him screenshots of our conversation, to show I wasn’t a possessive husband.<br><br>I agreed, a bit annoyed.<br><br>She sent him a screenshot of our conversation, but also a screenshot of her deleting the app. I saw that he didn’t reply back.<br><br>A few hours later, I realized she was telling the truth. She wasn’t cheating. She told me she was going to send him screenshots of our conversation, and she actually sent him screenshots.<br><br>We then had a lengthy conversation about what had happened. She told me she was lonely and that I hurt her feelings when I didn’t invite her to my party. I didn’t even know she knew about the party, so things got awkward.<br><br>Awkward turned into crying. I told her that I should have been more supportive during our separation. I told her that I was salty and upset and that I didn’t want to be in a relationship anymore. I told her that I didn’t want to be close to her, even as a friend.<br><br>I told her that I didn’t think about how much pain I was causing her. I didn’t think things through and I hurt her badly. I apologized profusely for that.<br><br>When I told her that, she said that she forgave me and she apologized for not telling me about the app. She told me that she understood my position and she knew she touched a raw nerve when she posted on social media.<br><br>A few hours later, I was still salty. I asked if I could talk to her friend. She said no again and this time I agreed.<br><br>Throughout the weekend, I was still salty. However, I realized that I couldn’t stay salty forever.<br><br>I had to think about our kid and our future together. If I started a fight over a Tinder match that happened before we were together, I was going to end up being a terrible father.<br><br>Our kid would suffer because of our bad relationship and that would be my fault.<br><br>Yesterday, we had a lengthy conversation about what was going to happen next. We both agreed therapy would be good for us. We both said we loved each other and that we would work together on this.<br><br>I told her I would trust her. I would trust her forever.<br><br>Today, she had our baby shower. She told me that she wanted our relationship to go back to what it was before. I told her I wanted that too.<br><br>I told her that I was sorry about the whole thing. I should have handled things better and I should have trusted her.<br><br>She told me that she was sorry too and that this was water under the bridge now.<br><br>**_TL;DR:_**<br><br>My wife didn’t cheat. I was in the wrong and I apologized for that. We’re working on our relationship.<br><br>Thanks for reading, I hope this update is better.<br><br>EDIT: We talked things through with him. He confirmed they didn’t have an affair. My wife asked him if he wanted to be friends and he agreed.<br><br>Now they’re friends. I told my wife that it was a bit weird, but she told me that I couldn’t choose her friends. Fair enough.<br><br>They’re friends, but they don’t talk everyday. I trust my wife completely, so I’m not worried about this.