I just drank my husband's pee

I'm in tears right now and I don't know how to feel. I'm just starting to lose a pregnancy I was convinced was real. I thought I was pregnant since Thanksgiving. 5 months already gone. All this time, I went to countless OB appointments and made my husband go with me, got pelvic ultrasounds, had our parents come up, and we had just started looking at houses. Today, I went to my OB appointment and they couldn't find a heartbeat. I was sent to the hospital for more tests. When I was alone at the hospital, they told me I was never pregnant. It was a "massive pseudocyesis." That I had been drinking my husband's pee to help manipulate the pregnancy tests. I didn't know what the hell they were talking about. I went home and confronted my husband. He broke down and cried and told me the truth. He had been collecting his pee and putting it in my drinks to influence the test results because he thought I "wouldn't be happy otherwise." I'm heartbroken. We've talked about having kids for years and I thought he was on the same page. Now, I'm not sure if I can forgive him.<br><br>I understand that this is unusual and I'm not sure how to feel. I'm more heartbroken than angry, and I'm not sure if I'm ready to end our marriage. I don't know what he was thinking or how I'm going to move forward from this.