Might drink some bleach

My partner, who I’ve been with for 12 years, I have only found out after this many years spent with them, that they had been lying about not drinking and smoking weed while I’ve been away at work. Today, I found out they were high and drinking when I was out. <br><br>When I came home, they smelled like weed and alcohol, and I asked them if they were drunk and high. I’ve begged them not to drink or smoke weed, because of their history of serious and damaging alcohol use disorder in the past. They have promised me they stopped years ago. Today, I was told by their best friend they have been doing weed and drinking consistently. that they are drunk and high daily, and they are minimizing and lying about the extent I know now. <br><br>I have been given a bottle of bleach, and I am considering drinking it. I am absolutely heartbroken. Absolutely, utterly and completely. I have been betrayed by my partner I trust more than anyone in the world. <br><br>I have no exit. We are financially incestuous, and I have no idea how to separate us. I’m in serious debt, and that debt is due to them, their choices, their drinking, their promises to get a job, only to never honour that and drink away our finances. <br><br>Everything feels wretched and bleak, and I don’t know what to do. I don’t know what to do anymore. <br><br>I am never going to trust them again. I am never going to feel secure again that my money or assets are safe again. I am never going to believe a word they say again. I am never going to trust their judgement and opinions. I hate that the thought of divorce or separation makes me feel so nauseous and hurt, that I have no idea how to do that. <br><br>I have no options. I am so lost and so utterly heartbroken.