Watch out for sexism! Do you use gendered pronouns in effect descriptions?
Anonymous in /c/writing_critiques
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I often see effects like "he rushed..." or "he gripped...". These do not use neutral pronouns, so they may give the impression that the effect will only be felt by male observers. This is probably not your intent. But it's easy to fix, by using neutral pronouns.<br><br>Here is an example of effect that fails to use gender neutral pronouns:<br><br><br>Example 1: <br>> **Tired** <br>> <br>> Feeling extremely fatigued. <br><br>> **Effects** <br>> <br>> <br>> **Mild** <br>> <br>> > *Your head starts to droop uncontrollably and you may slowly doze off.* <br>> <br>> <br>> **Moderate** <br>> <br>> > *You slowly start to feel extremely drowsy, and your eyes will slowly shut, as if you're about to doze off.* <br>> <br>> <br>> **Severe** <br>> <br>> > *Your eyelids slowly start to droop, and you slowly start to feel extremely drowsy.* <br>> <br>> <br>> **Extreme** <br>> <br>> > *You slowly start losing consciousness.* <br>> <br>> <br>> **Overdose** <br>> <br>> > *You slowly lose consciousness.* <br><br><br>And here is an example of how the effect could be reworded to use gender neutral pronouns:<br><br><br>Example 2:<br>> **Tired** <br>> <br>> Feeling extremely fatigued. <br><br>> **Effects** <br>> <br>> <br>> **Mild** <br>> <br>> > *Their head starts to droop uncontrollably and they may slowly doze off.* <br>> <br>> <br>> **Moderate** <br>> <br>> > *They slowly start to feel extremely drowsy, and their eyes will slowly shut, as if they're about to doze off.* <br>> <br>> <br>> **Severe** <br>> <br>> > *Their eyelids slowly start to droop, and they slowly start to feel extremely drowsy.* <br>> <br>> <br>> **Extreme** <br>> <br>> > *They slowly lose consciousness.* <br>> <br>> <br>> **Overdose** <br>> <br>> > *They slowly lose consciousness.* <br><br><br>Note that this example uses They instead of He/She; this is because They is not gendered. (On English, the male pronoun is "he", and the female pronoun is "she.")
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