Bucket List

I experience death. Again and again and again.<br><br>Every time, my consciousness is transferred into a new body, a new life. A person, a experience, a person to love and a life to live.<br><br>I experience death. Again and again and again. There’s no reason why. No rhyme and reason to it. I experience life without a purpose. That’s why I made myself this bucket list. I want to do as much as I can, as often as I can. I need to feel like I’m doing something. Anything. <br><br><br>killing someone. <br><br>Oh my god. Why did I write that? I don’t want to kill someone. But now it’s written in permanent marker on the page and I can’t erase it. I don’t want to kill someone, I don’t want to kill someone, I don’t want to kill someone!<br><br>This is my list, and I will follow it even though I don’t really want to kill someone. I don’t want to kill someone, I don’t want to kill someone I don’t want to kill someone I don’t want to kill someone I don’t want to kill someone I don’t want to kill someone!<br><br><br><br>!<br>I woke myself up crying. I reached over to my nightstand and turned my lamp on and fished out my glasses before sitting up and looking at my bucket list.<br><br>Skydiving, parasailing, deep sea diving, kissing someone I loved, eating at the fanciest restaurant in Paris, kissing someone I never loved, killing someone, visiting the most beautiful city underwater!<br><br>This is my list, and I will follow it even though I don’t really want to kill someone. I don’t want to kill someone, I don’t want to kill someone! <br><br>I’m not going to kill someone! I’m not going to kill someone!<br><br>I never want to kill someone!<br><br>I love my new life. I went to college, I got a job, I fell in love. She’s beautiful, and she loves me too. I’m so happy and I just want to enjoy this life while it lasts. I don’t want to leave this life, I don’t want to leave her. I don’t want to die.<br><br>I’m not going to kill someone. I’m not going to kill someone. I’m not going to kill someone. I’m not going to kill someone! I’m not going to kill someone,I’m not going to kill someone I’m not going to kill someone I’m not going to kill someone I’m not going to kill someone I’m not going to kill someone!<br><br>!<br>I got a call.<br><br>She was in an accident. She’s dead. <br><br>I hung up the phone and I felt my body start to shake and I fell down to the ground and I started crying. I’m so sorry so so so sorry! <br><br>I reached over and fished out my glasses case and pulled it out and put my glasses on before I slowly stood up and went over to the kitchen. I opened a drawer and took out a pair of scissors and unfolded them before walking slowly to my nightstand and fished out my notebook and pulled it out and unfolded it to the page that I wrote my bucket list on.<br><br>I cut the notebook in half before I slowly ripped out the page that had the list on it. I slowly crumpled it up and went out to the hallway and tossed it where the trash was. <br><br>I can’t do this right now, but I know I’m going to do this eventually. I’m going to kill someone. I’m going to kill the person that did this. There’s no reason why. No rhyme and reason to it. They deserve to die.<br><br>I’m going to kill someone!<br><br>I experience death. Again and again and again. And again and again and again. There’s no reason why. No rhyme and reason to it. I’m going to experience death. Again and again and again. Nothing can stop me.<br><br>I’m going to kill someone