My husband stopped cuddling 8 years ago

My husband stopped cuddling with me 8 years ago and stopped having sex with me 3 years ago. We have a comfortable home and enough money to live on but this man has let himself go. I sometimes feel comfortable telling him what I think. This man smokes 2 packs of cigarettes a day and is not healthy at all. He is what he refers to as "bone stock" and he says that he is miserable. He smokes and drinks beer and eats junk food sometimes to ease the pain. I have suggested gym memberships and he always says no. I leave him alone because I don't want him to get angry and turn on me. I feel like I'm living alone and I'm sexually frustrated. I don't know how to make him see reason but I know I'm not responsible for anyone else's choices. I sometimes feel comfortable telling him what I think. I've told him that he could be more attractive and have more energy if he tried but he always gets defensive and tries to make me feel bad by saying that he didn't always feel this way but then I got fat. It's hard for me to lose weight and I'm not happy with my body but I am just tired of living without a partner and having a husband that is comfortable with leaving me to do everything with no help. I do not know what to do to make this man see that I'm tired of living alone.