Last night I got rejected by a girl who never left her house (and has taken her virginity)

I am taken aback by the sheer range of people on this planet; I once thought I was the weirdest, the most irrational and socially awkward; I even once thought I was the only one who wished to go back in time. However, I have come to realize that the world is full of diversity and that everyone in this world has their own unique story to tell. <br><br>I have a confession to make: I've played with dolls for 35 years. I know it may seem unusual, but for me, it's a source of comfort and solace.<br><br>I am 36 years old and I have never had a single date, and I have never worked a real job. I'm not lazy; I just lack the self-confidence to do anything outside my comfort zone. I have even gone as far as to avoid doctors and dentists. I am so irrational that I believe I can will away any physical health issues just by extensively Googling them. (I know this is irrational, but I am just afraid of anything that can disrupt my routine.)<br><br>I am an autist, and I openly admit this. Being an autist has its advantages and disadvantages. I am not ashamed of my sexuality; I am a normal, heterosexual male. However, I lack the confidence and social skills to engage with normal people.<br><br>I am so irrational that I have taken to the internet to find a partner; and I found one.<br><br>A couple of months ago, I met a girl in a closed Facebook group for people with mental health issues. I messaged her and we quickly became friends. We bonded over our love of anime, video games, and our similar social anxiety. She was even more socially awkward than me; she told me that her only friends were her family. She had never left her house, never gone to college, and never had a job; so, I thought we could be compatible.<br><br>I was never attracted to her physically; I didn't think she was ugly, just not my type. However, her personality matched mine perfectly. I thought we could be happy together, living in our own little world of fantasy, away from the reality of life.<br><br>I told her about my irrational behavior, and she didn't judge me. In fact, she even supported me. I felt like I had found my soulmate.<br><br>However, when I asked her to meet in person, she rejected me. I was heartbroken.<br><br>I asked her why, and she said it was because of my irrationality. She was worried that I wouldn't be able to take care of her. I reassured her that I would, but she didn't believe me. She said she needed someone who could protect her, someone who was strong and confident.<br><br>I was devastated. I had never felt such rejection before. I realized that I wasn't good enough for her, that I wasn't strong enough to take care of her. I felt like I had failed.<br><br>I'm still trying to come to terms with this rejection. I know I'm not perfect, but I thought I was good enough for her. I thought we could be happy together, living in our own little world.<br><br>It just goes to show that everyone is different; everyone has their own unique range of irrationality. I may have been born in the wrong era, but I have come to accept this.<br><br>And as for the girl; I'm sad that it didn't work out between us, but I'm also happy for her. She deserves to find happiness, and I hope she does.<br><br>**EDIT**<br><br>First I would like to say thank you to the kind redditors; I even got a gold metal. However, I did not write this post for sympathy votes or to be pitied; I wrote it to tell a story. I am not sad, and I still believe that the best is yet to come. It only takes one person to say yes; and she is out there. <br><br>To the people who said I am not an autist because I am typing and able to talk; you are poorly educated. I am an autist because I am socially awkward, and I can't engage with people; and I am not ashamed of it. It is not shameful to admit; and I am proud of the way I am; so, I won't let anyone tell me otherwise.<br><br>To the people who said that I am lying; I won't prove anything to you. You don't have to believe me; I wrote this post for myself; to get something off my chest.<br><br>I am not going to be too active in this thread; because of my irrational fears. I am afraid of interacting with people; and I have even gone as far as to not reply to my comments.