I’ve been using a condom I found in my fiancés gym bag with him for the past 6 months

Throwaway account. I’ve never told a soul about what I’m doing and I need to get it all out. <br><br>After years of working towards a wedding my fiancé and I are set to get married next year. <br><br>I met him when I was 19 and he was 21. We both had been sexually active since we were 16 so we were both experienced beyond that which our ages suggested. Sex became a massive part of our relationship. <br><br>While I was finishing school he was working in IT on good money and would often take us away to nice places. We would regularly get a room service and spend the weekend in bed.<br><br>After I graduated I started to earn a lot more and we were even more financially stable. We started having a lot of money to play with. We started having sex parties and going to the fetish club together which was something I had always wanted to try. <br><br>The last few years our sex life has started to slow down. It’s probably my fault as much as his. I put on a little bit of weight recently and I don’t want to be seen naked, I’ve lost a bit now but still don’t feel great. He works a lot and this has meant he has to travel a lot, some weeks I won’t see him at all. <br><br>I’ve started to feel really insecure. I’ve seen him look at other women and it’s started a spiral of anxiety in me. I’ve kind of started to feel like I’m not good enough. <br><br>I’m generous with all our money and have given him a “free card” to spend on anything he wants. He spends a lot on cars and stuff but recently I noticed he was spending a lot of money on AirBnB. Like whole houses for nights at a time, always when he was out of town. This has made me feel terrible. Those few nights a month that he was gone I just assumed he had a hotel which was being covered by his company. <br><br>I don’t know why but I decided to check his gym bag. It was crazy, nothing like me. I found a closed condom, I didn’t even recognised the brand. It was such a crazy violation of trust. <br><br>Even though the idea made me feel so sick, I decided to use it. Every time we have sex I use it. I’ve been doing this for months. I’ve never told anyone and I don’t know why I’m telling anyone now.