I think I might end my marriage over how my wife handles our dog

My(30F) and my(34M) wife have been married for 3 years now. We have a one year old puppy that I got her for Valentine's Day a year ago. My wife is a SAHM and I work a lot. She will be staying at home with our kids when they are born as well.<br><br>She is very conscientious about protecting the environment, which I respect. We don't buy meat, we don't use paper towels or paper products, I don't throw dirty socks in the laundry bin, etc. I respect that and I'm working on being more conscious of my footprint as well. We live in a pretty small house and we generally do well with our money so I don't really complain too much when she wants me to start hanging diapers to dry instead of using the dryer, even though it makes our bedroom look cluttered.<br><br>The thing that's really starting to piss me off is her treatment of our dog. I wanted a dog for years. She's generally not an animal person but said she'd be willing to try it out. She agreed to train the dog with me and promised that she'd take good care of him.<br><br>She does not. Our dog is literally starving. I give him a cup and a half of kibble in the morning and he is always hungry. He will eat anything. He will eat shoes, he will eat blankets, he will eat his toys. He will destroy the house. I know he's still young but it doesn't matter how many times we train him not to, he still does it. And the reason he's doing it is that he is goddamn starving. Every day I come home from work to him having destroyed something else because he is looking for something to eat. He will eat out of the cat's litterbox if he gets the chance. He will eat out of the trash if he gets the chance. I've tried to train him out of these behaviors but I'm not home during the day to supervise him, and it doesn't matter how hard I punished him when I get home because he's still hungry.<br><br>I've begged my wife to feed him more during the day and she gets angry at me and calls me chauvinistic. She says I do this all the time and she's sick of it. She's sick of me making her feel stupid because I am a man and I know better, and I don't know better. She knows better than me. But I don't know how she can deny that our dog is looking for food constantly. The dog is 50 pounds and should be eating 2-3 cups of food per day. I give him 3/4 of a cup in the morning and she gives him 3/4 of a cup at night. He is not full enough. I've tried talking to her about it but she gets angry.<br><br>Then there is his training. She lets him in the bed and on the furniture but only sometimes. I am firm that if the dog isn't allowed on the bed, he's never allowed on the bed. But she lets him sleep with her sometimes when I'm out of town for work. I don't mind the dog sleeping in the bed except that it confuses him and he pees on the bed. So then she gets mad at me for training the dog out of something she lets him do.<br><br>I have considered just leaving and taking the dog with me but I don't think she'd let me have full custody of the dog. I love the dog and I don't want to leave him with her because she doesn't take care of him. I told her I want a divorce because I don't want to have kids with her. She just laughs and says of course we're having kids together, we're married, and I can't leave her. I've given her an ultimatum that if she doesn't start taking care of the dog and if she doesn't stop letting him sleep on the bed then I'll leave her. I didn't say it in the heat of the moment, I planned it out. I don't know what to do. <br><br>I want to add a few things here. I apologize for the format but I'm trying to keep it in one comment to avoid spamming.<br><br>* 1. I'm not sure how a lot of you think we're going to make significantly less money if I quit my job. I make a lot of money. I work a lot. She does not work at all. She stays at home. I have been asking her to get a job for years and she says no. She has a degree. She is smart. She refuses to get a job. I know I'm not the only person in this situation and I don't think that necessarily makes me a chauvinist. However, when she goes out to lunch with her friends, gets her nails done, and hires someone to clean the house then I think it's reasonable for me to expect her to take care of the goddamn dog.<br><br>* 2. I have tried talking to her calmly. I've tried being reasonable. I've tried explaining that it goes against every fiber of my being to let an animal starve. I know dogs can survive on very little but that's not enough for me. I want my dog to be happy and I don't think he is right now. I think he's hungry, I think he's anxious, and I don't think he's being treated right. I have begged her, I've cried, I've yelled, I've done everything and none of it has worked. I don't know what to do.<br><br>* 3. To those of you saying I should trade my wife a divorce for full custody of the dog: while I know you're joking, I'm really not kidding when I say that is a legitimate consideration for me. This woman who is a stranger to me is married to me and she's going to be the mother of my children. I don't want to have kids with her. I don't even want to be married to her. I don't know what the fuck I'm going to do.<br><br>* 4. Okay so there is a lot of confusion about money. For the first few years of our marriage, we made more or less the same amount of money. We lived together for several years before we got married. We were happy, and I was happy to split the cost of living with her 50/50. When we got married, I thought we should combine our finances because it made more sense that way. She agreed but then she started running up our cards and spending way more money than we made. This put us in debt. I make significantly more than her now because I got a better job. I make 3 times what I used to make and she makes 1/3 of what she used to make. I pay all of the bills and I give her money to spend on herself. I don't think this makes me better than her. It is literally just a math problem. I make more money and I pay more of the bills. We didn't get married and then suddenly I started making more money and looking down on her. We were making the same amount of money and then we got married and I started making more and she started making less. This is our situation and I don't know what to do about it. I know I'm not the only person in this situation but it is our situation and I don't know what to do. And for the record, I do contribute to the house. I cook, I clean, I take care of the dog, I take care of the yard, I take care of the finances. I do a lot of work for this house and I don't get enough credit from her for it. But I do contribute.<br><br>* 5. One of the commentators said I must be living in a red state. I'm not living in a red state. I'm living in California. I'm a liberal. I'm very progressive. I'm very feminist. I believe in equality. I don't think men are better than women. I think we are equal and I respect that. I don't think that I am better than her because I make more money. The fact that she is a SAHM and not making money is enough, I know that. I don't expect her to make money. I don't expect her to do anything but I do expect her to take care of our goddamn dog.