I'm a chick who wants to be a chick and I don't get why it's a problem

#NoContextRequired in in the title of this post because this is yet another rant that's not sleeping in the drafts folder until someone asks the right question and thanks to the guilty by association mentality it's going to alienate everyone in the neighborhood. But sleeping next to the computer without hitting the post button first is so comfortable...<br><br>I'm a 23-year-old young woman, and I'm repulsed by my gender, not like a misogynist in the sense that, despite eating disorders like depression and anorexia, I believe that women are human beings and not sexual objects. But I don't feel feminine at all, and I never wanted to be a girl in the first place. There, I said it. I'm a girl who wants to be a chick.<br><br>I'm not a big fan of anything that's supposed to be feminine, like makeup, shopping, or having a lot of friends. I'm not very good at all of those things, and I don't particularly care. I'd rather have a few good friends than just a bunch of random acquaintances.<br><br>I used to be very girly when I was younger, but then I went through a phase where I wanted to distance myself from anything feminine. Now, I'm kind of in the middle. I've grown my hair out and I wear a bit of makeup, but I don't like the idea of being girly just for the sake of it. I don't want to be judged based on my appearance.<br><br>I've always been a bit of a tomboy. I love playing video games and watching anime, and I really enjoy doing things that are considered masculine. It's just my personality, and I've never really felt like I fit into the typical 'feminine' mold.<br><br>Some people might think that wanting to be a dude is strange or that I should be happy with who I am, but it's really not that simple. I'm not in control of my feelings and in a way I feel in a prison because of my gender. I never wanted to be a chick, but I feel like I should be one. It's like my body is just in the way in the way that I don't want to be a chick, but I'm a chick so I have to be a chick. But I don't want to be a chick. I just want to be a dude. But being a dude is not available for me, and I in a way, I feel like I'm stuck in a prison.