My (40m) wife (39f) got pregnant by a sperm donor against my wishes. Can I make her get an abortion?

My wife and I have been trying to have kids for years. I have low count and we couldn't do it the regular way. Neither of my folks lived long enough for us to harvest their sperms. <br><br>Two years ago, we went to a clinic, but she was 37 then and they told us she couldn't use my sperms and we couldn't just use anyone's. My wife went on and on about how she wanted to at least carry the baby and I got it. I agreed to let them inseminate her with a donor's sperm. <br><br>Her first insemination didn't work. Then covid hit. She was afraid of getting a transfer last year, so she waited. They tested positive for covid in December, so she waited again. She told me she was getting the insemination done today. And I said no, because 5 out of 6 times, it doesn't work and with her age, I really didn't want to risk her health. I also told her she was 39 and the chances of her getting a miscarriage or a stillborn was high. <br><br>She said she wanted to keep trying with her own eggs and I said she should get donor eggs if she wanted to keep carrying at her age. She went ahead and got the insemination done. Now I feel betrayed and honestly, lost. I really don't want to risk her health. I told her to get an abortion and she said she can't do it and that this was her last chance to be pregnant and she'd do anything for it. I love her with all my heart and I do not want her to risk her health. I'm not sure what to do.<br><br>Edit- We went to the doctor today. The doctor said she shouldn't have gotten the insemination done at her age and that she was really taking a huge risk. I feel bad for her, but she is crying and saying she feels like a failure as a woman. I sat down and talked to her and she finally agreed to get an abortion if this works. Now I can't help but feel guilty about it. I'm not sure if this makes us terrible people. <br><br>Edit2- I want to make it very clear to everyone that my wife made this decision to have kids, with or without me. <br><br>I want to clarify that inseminations do not work like they do in the movies. Most women who go through AI have to do it multiple times before they actually get pregnant. She wanted to do AI with a donor's sperm, but the clinic won't just allow them to inseminate a donor's sperm into a woman over 35. Only women under 35 can do that. Women over 35 have to get inseminated with a donor's sperm EVERY MONTH for 3 months before the clinic will allow them to do IUI or IVF or ICSI with a donor's sperm. <br><br>The clinic I go to does not allow AI with a donor's sperm on a woman over 37 and that's why my wife went ahead and got donor insemination against my wishes. She knew I didn't want her to risk her health and that's why she didn't talk to me about getting donor insemination done until she was done with it. <br><br>I want to clarify that we're Indian. I understand a lot of people here are from the US or other countries, but this clinic is in India and they have their own rules about who can donate insemination and who can't. <br><br>A lot of people are talking about how a 39 year old woman can have a completely normal healthy pregnancy. But I'd like to tell them that it's not the same for every woman. My wife has a lot of health issues. She has endometriosis. She has adenomyosis. She has a short 22 day menstrual cycle. She also has asthma. She has a hard time losing weight. I'm not saying she's overweight, but she's 5'1 and she's 63 kgs. <br><br>She has a hard time doing any exercise at all. She used to do yoga but she had to stop doing it because she has a hard time breathing. She was recently diagnosed with a heart condition. She has to go for a heart surgery later this year. <br><br>I'm not saying she can't have kids, but I'm saying she can't risk insemination EVERY MONTH. She has to take laxatives because she's constipated almost 24/7. I do not want her to risk her health. She has a hard time with her periods and that's why I was against the idea of her risking her health. <br><br>I understand it's not my decision and it's her choice, but I want her to make a choice considering her health and I'm not sure she's doing that. <br><br>I'm sorry if this sounds like something else, but I'm really worried about her health. <br><br>Also, I want to make it clear that my wife did not get pregnant yet and that's why I'm not sure she'd get an abortion or not. <br><br>Also, please stop projecting your insecurities and traumas onto me. I'm not your abusive dad and I'm not your ex-husband. I'm a man who loves his wife a lot and is worried about her health. I do not control her. I explain things to her and talk to her and she does things on her own. I do not want to control her. I did not marry her to control her. I want her to live a healthy life and to be happy. I'm putting it in caps so you see it- **I WANT HER TO BE HAPPY.**<br><br>Edit3- My wife and I talked. And she's still going through with the pregnancy.