My heart broke today. Because this guy tried to touch me

Today I'll be putting this rambling post together with minimal editing. I feel terrible about this situation, and I'll probably get laughed out of the room. Idk. But putting my thoughts out there feels like a couple of pounds off my chest.<br><br>**UPDATE:** I wrote this post as I went to bed. Today, I reached out to him. He went out to eat with his family, and I asked to come along. They welcomed me with wide arms. His little niece taught me how to play the piano. We had our couple of slices of pizza, and laughed together. Idk if this'll last, but at least I know I have a lot of friends.<br><br>**BUT THEY'RE NOT.** Because friends don't do that.<br><br>Now. I'm not going to go out there to touch people. But I felt really bad after this happened. I started crying. Because I knew I'll never have these experiences with a partner. I'll be lonely for the rest of my life. I'll never have someone to love. Idk. I'm not sad that I'm lonely, I'm sad that I'm alone. Because I'll never get what others do.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>Some people are going to say "Ooh! Something like this happened to me too."<br><br>I'm not trying to compare myself to you. But this happened to me. And it felt bad.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>So my parents are pretty rich. And we're building a huge house this winter. We're also moving to a different state, so we're moving into a bigger house right now. We're also moving into a different neighborhood. Were pretty much neighbors with everyone, even if we don't really talk to them.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>I get a knock on the door. I open it, to find this guy who lives two houses away. He said that he heard about our move, and wanted to let him know if he could use any of our belongings that we were getting rid of, or if we needed any help.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>I let him in to help me use some of the stuff. He's nice, and I just went along with it.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>I'm 14, and he's 17. I don't know why the f\*ck he'd want to do something like this.<br><br>And he put his hand down my pants.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>I froze. And for 5 minutes, we just stood there. Awkwardly. And I didn't know what to say or do.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>Suddenly, I hear my mom come home. "Oh, hey! What's going on?" And I just stared at her because I didn't know what to say.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>He started to go on a whole raving speech about who he is. And I didn't care, I just wanted to get away from him. But I didn't want to do anything. And while he was talking, I said "Oh, I think you got the wrong house." And he replied "Wait! What? This is the house!", and he ran out of the house, into his car, and just sped away.<br><br>I slammed the door, and just went inside. And I knew I'd never see him again. But I don't want to. I'd rather just stay alone. Because I'll never be with someone for long. And this is the only life I'll ever know.