AITA for not buying a gift for a baby with a rare genetic condition?

&#x200B;<br><br>I (27F) was invited to a baby shower for my coworker/friend. This is her 4th child and I have been invited to all the other parties for her other children, so I felt obligated to attend.<br><br>As I have been to three other parties, I planned on only buying a gift for my other of around $20-$30. I went shopping for the gift and ran into her partner, he asked me if I had gotten a gift, I said not yet and he asked what I was planning to get. I told him I hadn’t decided but thought the onesie with the shoes were really cute. He said “no onesies will work, she has a rare condition called epidermal bullosa that means every time her skin is touched by anything it rips off. I apologised and said I would look elsewhere.<br><br>When I arrived at the party, everyone was giving gifts with attached cards telling her why they were giving the gift of x$. I had still only brought my $20 present and felt now that it was not enough and others were outdoing me. I still gave my card but with no note. She really seemed upset that I didn’t write a note.<br><br>Later she messaged me accusing me of being an asshole because I didn’t put my amount on my gift card and that I didn’t give a present for her condition. I replied and said I didn’t know she still needed money for it and I planned on giving a physical gift but she had a condition. She said that she could have still used the physical gift for when she is better. I didn’t realise she was going to get better.<br><br>Edit:<br>To everyone saying 4 kids with the first three having no conditions, OP being unaware of the condition and her being upset over a 20$ gift: This is my 4th child, my first 3 are a 13 year old, a 7 year old and a 3 year old. I began saving for my sons treatment the day we found out I was pregnant. I had no idea he would have EB, genentic testing showed there was a 1 in 200 chance and we were told it was unlikely. This is why my other children do not have EB. <br><br>The 20$ was the problem because it was a ‘fuck you’ gift. If OP couldn’t afford to bring more than 20$ she could have given an IOU note to let us know she planned to give more or give us something specific which is what most people did. A 20$ gift to a child that is never going to wear normal clothes, will likely never walk and is going to be in a lot of pain for their entire life is offensive. If you have a little and you can’t afford to give a lot, give a little and explain yourself! 20$ and nothing is offensive.<br><br>Edit 2:<br>For those saying it’s my partners fault for not letting me know what she needed for her son, my partners mother passed away when he was 10 and they are very close to my family. He does not have a lot of family and is close to my work family. It was not up to him to ask my coworkers for anything and it is not his place to decide what gift I accept. That’s my choice. Also, I did not know OP was going to bring only 20$ but I did know she didn’t like my son.<br><br>Edit 3:<br>For those saying its my fault for knowing OP didnt like my son and inviting her anyway, I work in the same department as her and she has been to every party. She is the head of our department and the parties are always put on by the department heads spouse. If I didn’t invite her it would have been seen as me getting special treatment. <br><br>Edit 4:<br>I’ve seen a lot of people saying this child will not make it very long or will be in a lot of pain. My son will be fine. He is already doing very well and his doctors are happy with his progress. Yes, he is in pain but he is being treated for that. Yes, his condition is incurable but it is manageable. He is not going to die and he is not suffering because of EB. I believe in making my children resilient and this will just make him stronger in the long run.