What's the difference between a father and a dad?

Hello, dear readers. I'm a foster and adoptive mother. I have a 28-year-old biological daughter and a 13-year-old adopted son. <br><br> <br><br>My son was brought into the system at the age of five. Before coming into my care, he was placed with five different foster families. He's the sweetest boy you'll ever meet, and by far the easiest child I've ever raised. <br><br> <br><br>He's respectful and polite, extremely patient, and takes direction well. Though he struggles in school, he never complains and always puts in effort. <br><br> <br><br>He shares and takes turns, helps with chores, and is considerate of others at all times. Overall, my son is a model child and I feel very fortunate to have him in my life. <br><br> <br><br>Over the years, he's stated several times that he can't remember much about where he came from or the circumstances that led to his placement. <br><br> <br><br>He has the tell-tale behaviors of a child who experienced trauma. I've seen him have meltdowns, panic attacks, and fits of rage for little to no reason at all. He has night terrors that are so realistic and intense that he genuinely believes he's back there when he awakes from them. <br><br> <br><br>He has tell-tale behaviors of a child who's been neglected. He has severe food allergies and sensitivities. He's lactose intolerant, allergic to shellfish, and has an egg intolerance. I learned all of that through process of elimination when he first came into my care.<br><br> <br><br>He knows his name, DOB, and that's it. No one knows where he came from, who his biological parents are, or how he ended up where he was when he was found. He was the victim of severe child abuse, rape, and starvation. <br><br> <br><br>Last year, I was in a store with him when a man stopped me and asked him to sing a song. My son didn't know the song, and stated he was sorry and that he didn't know the words. The man then stated, "That's okay. You would've been too little anyway." He smiled at me and walked away, and that was it.<br><br> <br><br>A few months ago, my son and I went to a restaurant. While there, a man approached us and asked if he could speak with my son. I was reluctant but my son smiled and said, "It's okay. I know him." He proceeded to hug the man and ask how he'd been. <br><br> <br><br>I asked the man who he was and he told me his name and stated he was a friend of my son's father. I asked if he'd like to sit and talk to us for a bit and he stated he'd rather not. He thanked me and walked away, and that was it.<br><br> <br><br>After that, we started seeing more of these random men. They came in all shapes and sizes. They smiled at my son and told him how big he's gotten. They told him they missed him and asked him if he remembered them. <br><br> <br><br>Some of them were kind, some of them not so much. Some of them were happy to see my son, some of them were angry that he didn't remember them. <br><br> <br><br>One day, a man stopped us and asked if we had time to talk. I stated we did and he asked if my son would be willing to do that. My son stated he was and the man asked me if I could give them a few minutes. I told him I could and stated I'd be in the car.<br><br> <br><br>I sat in the car, watched them talk, and wondered what they were saying. The man did most of the talking and my son smiled and nodded throughout. After fifteen minutes, the man hugged my son, kissed him on the head, and walked away.<br><br> <br><br>When we got home, I asked my son what they talked about. He said the man was an uncle and that he thought he'd forgotten about him. He told me his uncle missed him and that seeing him again made him feel like he was home. <br><br> <br><br>He said he was sorry for not remembering him before and that he was happy to see him. He told me that his uncle was pleased with the way he was being treated and that he was proud of the man he was becoming. He said he'd see him again soon and that he'd be happy to introduce us at that time. <br><br> <br><br>I asked my son more questions. Who was the man? Why did he call my son nephew? What did he mean by seeing him again soon? My son stated he couldn't remember and I accepted that. <br><br> <br><br>Two weeks later, the man stopped us again. This time, he stated he wanted to talk to me. He asked my son if that was okay with him and my son stated it was. The man asked if we could talk privately and I agreed.<br><br> <br><br>The man and I walked to a nearby park and sat on a bench. He asked me if I was aware of my son's past and I told him I was. He asked me if I knew where he came from and I stated I didn't. He laughed and asked me if I even knew what his surname was. <br><br> <br><br>I laughed too and explained my son's adoption process to him. The man listened intently and his eyes began to water as I finished. He looked me dead in the eyes and stated, "I'm his father. I've been searching for him for years and I never suspected that he was in the system." He looked down at the ground, took a breath, and continued. <br><br> <br><br>"When he was a child, my son was the center of my universe. It makes me sick to even call him my son, when in reality I was nothing more than a sperm donor. But the man who adopted him, who treated him as his own and showed him what a real father looks like, he was the one who really parented him. I'm so sorry it took me so long to find him. I know it can't be easy raising him on your own." He looked at me with tears in his eyes and continued, "Can I talk to him again?" <br><br> <br><br>I agreed and he thanked me. He walked up to my son and hugged him. "How did you end up here?" He asked. My son shrugged and said he didn't know. The man looked at me and asked me the same question. I told him it was part of the adoption and the man nodded. <br><br> <br><br>"Is it okay if I call you from time to time?" He asked. My son stated he'd be okay with that and I agreed as well. The man thanked me and stated he'd see us around. I asked where he lived and he pointed to a house on the next block. "That's where I live. I'll be seeing you both often." He smiled and walked away, and that was it.<br><br> <br><br>As stated before, I see a lot of these random men. At first they were scarce, but now it seems my son runs into someone he knows at least once a day. They ask him questions and hug him, they smile at him and reminisce on old times. <br><br> <br><br>They tell him they missed him and ask him if he remembers them. They tell him they're proud of the man he's becoming and they can't wait to see him again. My son smiles at them and greets them with open arms. <br><br> <br><br>Sometimes the encounters are pleasant and sometimes they're not. Sometimes these men are happy and sometimes they're angry. Sometimes they're drunk and sometimes they're sober. One thing remains true through all of it though. <br><br> <br><br>I can tell by the way they look at him that they're in love with him. <br><br> <br><br>What's the difference between a father and a dad?