My partner torched my writing room.

Yesterday, I woke up to the smell of smoke. I rushed to check the house for fire, which turned out to be coming from a small storage room I'd set aside for my writing. The room was ablaze. Luckily, I got the fire out before it spread to the rest of the house. All my writing was inside, gone. All my notebooks, my manuscript for an unpubbed novel, my desk.<br><br>I'd fallen out with my partner recently. They've been tormented by depression, and its been affecting our relationship a lot. We both needed some space, so I decided to give them that. I slept in the guest room at the front of the house and left them the master bedroom. When I'd finished putting out the fire, I confronted them. We got into a screaming argument, and in the heat of the moment they admitted to starting the fire. They were tormented by our failing relationship, they said. They hated that I was spending more time writing than I was with them. They said it was my fault the relationship was suffering; that I didn't spend enough time with them, and that my writing kept me from being present when they were around.<br><br>After all that was said and done, I demanded they leave. I'm not sure how I feel about them at the moment. I'm hurt, and I'm angry. I've been writing since I was a kid, and that room was my happy place. I've spent so many hours in there, so much time. I've put my whole heart in that room. I'm not sure I can forgive them for what they've done.<br><br>But at the same time, I can't help but feel responsible. Maybe they wouldn't have done it if I'd been more present in the relationship. If I'd given them more time. If I'd been more attentive.<br><br>I don't know if I can ever get over what they've done. I don't know if I want to forgive them. I feel like I'm being tested, like I'm being presented with a choice: my writing, or my relationship. If I forgive them, will I be able to keep writing? Being in that room made me feel strange, like I was in a bad dream. It was torched, like I imagine hell. I don't think I can write in there again.<br><br>What do I do? I'm being forced to choose between a relationship and a hobby. How can I forgive them, and still keep writing? Has anyone ever been in a similar situation?<br><br>I know I sound dramatic. It's just writing. I can write again. But for me, writing isn't just words on a page. It's everything. It's my passion. It's my peace. I write to process. When I couldn't write anymore, I felt so strange. I was disconnected from myself. It's my therapy. It's how I express myself. It's how I understand the world. It's how I connect to it. When someone torches all that, it feels like they've torched a part of me. It feels like I've lost myself.<br><br>**TLDR! My partner torched my writing room out of spite. When I confronted them, they admitted to it and said it was because I was spending more time writing than I was with them. I've kicked them out, but I can't help but feel partially responsible.**