I'm a woman and I'm lonely

I'm 21 years old. I don't have any friends. My grades are low. I have an interest in medical school but I won't be able to get in. I don't go out because I'm scared people will laugh at me. I don't go to parties or clubs because I'm afraid people will laugh at me. I'm afraid people will think I'm ugly. I'm afraid people will think I'm gross. I'm 130 pounds 5 ft 8 inches. I'm a female. I don't have any self-confidence. I'm extremely insecure. I have had four guys approach me in my whole life. I'm not pretty. I wish I was pretty. I wish I was a model. I wish I could be a stewardess. I wish I could be a porn star. I'm not pretty and I don't think I'll ever find someone who loves me. I've never had a boyfriend. I don't think I ever will have a boyfriend. I don't even think I'll even get a text from a guy outside of a personal relationship.<br><br>I just wanted to let you guys know that I'm lonely too.