I just want to confess something before I end my life.

I'm gay and I've been lying about it the whole time. I'm not sexually attracted to women, I never was. I've been lying about the women I've hooked up with in the past and I'm not 6'1 185 lbs as I claimed. I'm actually 5'9 130 lbs. The reason I'm not sexually attracted to women anymore is because I had sex with a guy a few months ago and I confess I enjoyed it. I'm confessing this because I think I'm going to end it all soon. I have no options and I'm desperate. I'm just tired of living a lie I guess. I don't want to lie about my sexuality anymore. <br><br>I hate the modern dating world. No one wants a mediocre looking man. Everyone always goes for the good looking ones. Nobody gives a chance for people like me. And for this reason, I think I'm going to end my life because I don't have a problem with my sexuality, I have a problem with people treating me like I'm worthless because of how I look. Modern dating is a beauty standard. I was born ugly and there's nothing I can do about it. I just want people to know that this is the reason why I'm killing myself. It's not because I'm mentally ill. It's because I was born ugly and nobody in this modern day and age wants to have sex with an ugly man. <br><br>And the only reason I've been saying I was straight this whole time is because I didn't want anyone to think I was a "soy boy" I guess. I'm tired of people shaming gay men and bisexual men. Homophobia is just as bad as racism and I'm tired of people treating me differently because I slept with a dude. <br><br>I just want to confess this before I end my life. Being in the dark for so long and not being able to say what's on my mind is the last straw for me. I can't keep this in the dark anymore.<br><br>I just want people to know that this is the reason why I'm killing myself. Nobody wants me because of my looks. It sucks to be a 22 year old virgin and knowing you're never going to have sex with anyone and nobody will ever want you because of your appearance.