Sometimes I wish I was mentally ill

I'm just so fucking sad all the time. I was diagnosed as having "major depressive disorder" but I can't get any help for it because I don't have insurance and I don't have any money. I've developed an unhealthy relationship with my computer and phone to distract myself. I'm not really sure what I want, but I wish my situation wasn't so bleak.<br><br>Edit: if you're here because this got on r/all, please, for the love of God, do not message me your story. I'm glad you found someone to talk to, but I just come here to dump sometimes because it helps me get my feelings out.