I hired a male sex worker for 2 hours just to hug me and hold me and I gave him flash cards of what to say to me.

I'm a 22 year old female. I'm introverted, I had one boyfriend who cheated on me 8 months ago and since then find it incredibly difficult to socialize. Even at work, I just sit at my spot, do my job, and go home. Online dating is too much. I've never had a hug in my life from anyone except my parents. Not even a goodbye hug from a friend, or any basic form of affection. I don't have any friends due to my personality. I get by with people I know, but I'm alone. <br><br>There's this new agency in my city, they advertised on some kijiji ad. Its a professional agency for hired partners: hired pretend boyfriends, hired long term partners, hired friends, hired lovers, hired soulmates, just anything. Its a professional job for people working there. They cater to what you want and need as long as its legal (obviously its all legal, I'm just being paranoid lmao).<br><br>I was skeptical, I called them asking what the deal was. They were very clear: they're an escort agency, except its for companionship, not just sex.<br><br>I was intrigued. I've always wanted to know what it feels like to be shown basic affection. To be held, cuddled, caressed, kissed, told I'm pretty, told I'm loved, told anything that would make me feel like a person who's loved.<br><br>I went to the agency, its a very professional setup. You pay for however long, you either choose what you want or if you're unsure, you get a "consultant" to help figure it out. You pay, pick the date, time, location, and then that's it.<br><br>I did it. I payed, picked the date, time, location. It costed $250 for 2 hours. I picked a guy I liked who was apparently very experienced at what I needed (their profiles specifically say what they're good at, what the reviews say, that sort of thing). I read all the reviews, I read everything. I picked the location, I picked what I wanted, I wrote flashcards for him to say. I hired a guy for 2 hours last week.<br><br>It was the most surreal thing ever. He was so calm and cool about it, he acted like he was doing anything but sex work. He picked me up from the door, smiled at me, kissed my forehead, held me, hugged me, caressed me, held my hand, kissed me on my face, whispered sweet nothings, read all my flashcards, followed every single guideline I gave him, cuddled with me, made love to me, gave me a bath, gave me a massage, told me how beautiful I was, told me what he loved about my body, made sure I knew how much he "loved" me.<br><br>It was the most surreal thing ever. I never knew you could hire your soulmate for 2 hours. I never knew you could pay for someone to tell you they loved you, that you're beautiful, that they can't get enough of you, that you're sexy, hot, smoking, that you're enough. I never knew you could pay for someone to act like they couldn't keep their hands off you, to act like they wanted to devour you. I never knew you could pay for someone to hold you, to just be with you, to listen to you talk, to show you basic affection like holding hands, kissing your forehead, giving you a hug.<br><br>I never knew you could pay for any of that. And when it was over, he hugged me, whispered "I'll always love you", kissed the forehead, and left.<br><br>It was so surreal. I feel so empty inside now, but I remember how he held me. I remember how he made me feel so beautiful and sexy. I remember how he told me he wished I was his girlfriend, how much he would want to date me if we met organically, and how he wished he could really be with me.<br><br>It was surreal. I payed him to say that. I payed him to do any and all of that. But for the first time in my life, I feel like a person who is worthy of love. For the first time, I feel like someone who is deserving of basic human affection. For the first time in my life, I didn't feel alone.