After I lost weight, I missed how my old ass looked too much.

TL;DR- I love chubby girls and I understand that I'm a sexy chubby bunny. I love the way I look as a chubby girl and I've missed it. <br><br>So I know I'm not the usual median for this subreddit- I'm a girl and I actually prefer to be chubby. <br><br>As soon as I turned 18 I went out and got a job and moved out on my own. I went from being forced to do sports and keto to eating whatever I wanted and I felt so free and happy. I'm 5'6 and I got all the way up to 230lbs. My butt was huge and I was so happy- I loved myself. I loved my body. I'm a big girl naturally and I feel like this. <br><br>But my health started to decline- I developed worsening back pain, I'm very shorted winded, and I can barely handle walking. I'm pretty sure I have PCOS, but I know I don't have testosterone levels that are super messed up. I know I put my health at risk and I want to feel better. I've been working really hard to lose some weight and now I'm at 200lbs and I know I'm healthier, but I miss how I looked as a thicker girl. <br><br>I miss how big my butt looked, how big my thighs looked. I miss how chubby I was. I'm still pretty chubby and I don't understand how people can think I'm skinny- I'm pretty sure that's just body dysmorphia and it's not true. <br><br>I know I'm just being a baby and I know that I made the right choice to lose weight- I do feel better- but I still miss how I looked. I'm planning on accepting myself as I am.