My wife admitted to cheating in a round about way, and it feels horrible.

My wife told me that she had an affair with me, and I’m conflicted. This is hard to write, and I’m not sure I can put into words what I’m feeling because I don’t know myself. <br><br>I met my wife right after I finished high school. She was a senior. We dated for a while, and she got pregnant with our child. We got married, and I hoped she would marry me because she loved me, and not because of the baby. She says she does, and she loves me, but now I’m not sure. <br><br>Our kid is now 15 and we’re still together. I love her with all my heart. She’s been my partner through thick and thin. But she recently told me that in the beginning of our relationship, she was still seeing her ex-boyfriend. He went to a different school, and they broke up because she moved away. They talked occasionally, but she said they weren’t together anymore. <br><br>One day, I walked in on her taking a bath, and she was crying. She asked me why I didn’t talk to her, and I told her I was upset because she was crying and I didn’t know why. And I walked away, feeling like something was wrong and I couldn’t help her. She started talking, and I could barely hear her. <br><br>The gist of it was that her ex-boyfriend was her first, and he was still interested in being together, even if it was casually. She admitted to me that she cheated on me in the beginning. <br><br>I felt like I’d been punched in the stomach. I didn’t know how to feel. I wanted to be mad, but a small part of me was happy that I was her second choice, and she is still with me. <br><br>She started talking, and I could barely hear her. I don’t know if I ever will be able to because I don’t know how to process these emotions.