I'm pregnant, and I'm absolutely not going to have an abortion.

So, I decided to get my IUD replaced, they're good for 5 years and mine is 8. I get pregnant every time I don't have an IUD (and I've had 4, so that's a very valid concern) so I was like, "Hell, no. I'm getting that IUD as soon as they'll give it to me!" I go to get it, and I'm pregnant. Now, I have 6 kids, and I don't want any more. I'm going to be 46, and I just don't want to be a mom anymore. So, I decided to have an abortion. No more IUD, no more kids, I could be done after this. I go to Planned Parenthood, and I get an appointment for a week later, and I'm told that I most likely will have to wait another 2 weeks after that for the appointment and procedure after that. I'm 8 weeks along, and the legal limit is 15 weeks, so I'm good, I'll get the legal abortion, and I'll be fine. I go to the appointment, and I get told that I'm 10 weeks along, and the legal limit is 12 weeks. I'm fucked. This morning, I realized that I have an appointment next week, and they'll soon realize that I'm 14 weeks, and I'm fucked. I'm out of time and out of options, and I'm going to have this baby, since I refuse to give birth in an alley.<br><br>Don't get me wrong, this baby is going to ruin my life in the long run, but it's going to be a kid, and maybe I can learn to love it when it's born. I'm still childfree, I never CHOSE to be a mom, and I'm not acting like this is a good thing, but at least I can raise this kid knowing that I didn't want it, and I'm not excited about it. I'm not gonna be a lying POS who acts like they're happy, I will always be honest, even with the kid, because they're a part of me, and I get that they're not a mistake, but a result of my choices. I get it's not a fair life to give to a kid, but at least I'll be honest, and I will always be upfront, even to them. I have a better time with kids that I don't have to be responsible for, and since I have a HUGE family, I can just pawn this kid off on anyone.<br><br>The bright side here is that my older kids (the 4 I had previously) are all 18+, and 4 of my 5 youngest are at least 12, and only 1 is under 10, so I have plenty of help, and I don't have to get a nanny or anything, I can just give them more and more responsibility, and since this is my last, I can just let the kids raise it, and be there to guide them since I've been through this before. I won't have to worry about the whole sleep training thing, and I get to just have a baby.<br><br>Don't get me wrong, this is NOT what I wanted, but I'm not going to ruin my life over this, I'm going to suck it up and deal with it. I've already adapted well and I've figured out how I'm going to manage all of this, and I'm not going to let this ruin my life since I've been through this before and I know how to raise a kid.<br><br>Don't lecture me about abortion, since I've already tried, and don't lecture me about having a HUGE family, because I didn't CHOOSE to have a family this big. I have an IUD because I get pregnant every time I'm not on one, and I just want to live my life, and I don't want to be a mom anymore. Treat this how you want, but at least I'm going to be upfront with everyone, and I get that this is a bad situation, but at least I know what I'm doing.<br><br>EDIT: Wow, this blew up. I'm glad you guys are here for this, since I feel like I can finally be honest, since I don't even feel like I can tell my family I'm not happy about it. I'm going to post updates every few months, so you guys can see how it goes, and I get that this is a bad situation, but I'm not going to let it ruin my life, and I will deal with it.