My husband was ashamed to show our home to his parents after I started decluttering and he called me lazy for no longer wishing to clean our home from top to bottom every weekend.

My husband and I own a home with three bedrooms. We have two children. For years I managed the household chores on my own. Cooking and cleaning and gardening and raising children and managing two school aged kids schedules with the school run twice a day because we cannot afford to send them to after school programs. <br><br>During the early covid years my husband was working more hours but the last two years he has been working from home. I thought this was a huge opportunity for him to help more around the house but he is only tidying his desk and taking out the bins. <br><br>So I started getting overwhelmed. The house was a mess. I was angry that he didnt helped me at all. One weekend instead of cleaning I spent two days in my room reading a book. <br><br>The following weekend he emailed his parents to come and visit. He is usually very excited to show them around but he was ashamed this time because he said I was lazy and had done no cleaning for weeks. His parents came and I was sitting in the garden with the kids when they arrived, they walked in the house and I could see the look of horror on their faces. It was a little cluttered because of my recent mood and I felt ashamed. I apologised and said I had no time to tidy lately but the house is not dirty. It is just a bit cluttered he replied “no it is dirty and filthy. There is dust everywhere and stains and smells”. <br> <br>I was feeling really hurt. My house had never been filthy but he made it sound like I was a neglectful and dirty housewife but in truth, after years of doing 90% of housework I wasn’t feeling like doing it anymore. <br> <br>He started helping more after this but I am confused. I felt like this was an attack on my housekeeping abilities when the truth is I had just decided I dont want to spend my days off cleaning anymore but the fact he couldnt show our home had embarrassed him so much made me feel like a failure.