God is sick and tired of all the damn wars being fought in his name. He's decided to do something about it

God walked into the UN headquarters, feeling a mix of emotions: sadness, frustration, and a hint of anger. He had been watching from above as humanity repeatedly squabbled over petty differences, often invoking His name to justify their violent actions. It was time for Him to intervene.<br><br>With a gentle yet firm touch, God grasped the shoulders of the delegates from the United States, China, Russia, and Iran. He closed His eyes, and a warm, golden light enveloped the five of them. The room fell.<br><br>"What the \*\*?" The US delegate's voice trailed off into a confused mumble.<br><br>The four world leaders were standing side-by-side on a desolate, barren plain that stretched out into the horizon in every direction. The sky above was a sickly yellow color, casting an eerie light over the landscape.<br><br>The group stared at one another in shock, not sure what to make of their surroundings or each other's company. God stood a short distance away from them, His back turned. He was muttering to Himself.<br><br>"When I said that man was made in my image...I didn't mean it literally..."<br><br>Suddenly, the group heard a strange noise. It sounded like thunder, but the sky was clear.<br><br>"Armored divisions of the People's Liberation Army...Moving out!" A voice boomed in the distance.<br><br>The group turned to face the sound, and soon a fleet of tanks and troop carriers came into view. They were flying the flag of China.<br><br>"Holy shit," The Russian delegate whispered. "This isn't good."<br><br>"Why are your people invading?" The Iranian delegate shouted at the Chinese delegate, who was useless to answer the question.<br><br>God turned to face the four of them. "The rules of the game are simple: the last delegate standing gets to go back to the world of the living. And if you die, your country will - and I cannot stress this enough - **will** be reduced to rubble. Nothing but memories will remain."<br><br>A second thunderous voice echoed, drowning out God's finishing words. "The Islamic Republic of Iran...Will not be silenced!"<br><br>The group turned again. This time they saw an Iranian naval fleet steaming towards them.<br><br>"Holy Mother of God..." The Russian delegate whispered.<br><br>"Who in the name of Allah...?" The Iranian delegate trailed off, too stunned to finish the question.<br><br>The US delegate grabbed the Chinese delegate's arm and yanked him towards the Russians and Iranians. "We must work together...We cannot let our great nations be destroyed over some ego-driven squabble."<br><br>The group looked at one another. Then, without a word, they charged into battle, four against all.<br><br>\---<br><br>The war raged on for what felt like years for the delegates, but in reality it had only been a few minutes. They had banded together better than God had anticipated, and were even able to find a few commonalities that helped strengthen their alliance.<br><br>"We're all from the most powerful countries in the world...Of course we're going to have the most powerful armies."<br><br>"Agreed...But that does not change the fact that we are all on the brink of death."<br><br>The group laughed together, a cathartic release they all desperately needed.<br><br>Just then, an explosion rocked the ground, sending them all tumbling to the ground. They struggled to get back to their feet, their ears ringing from the blast.<br><br>That's when they saw it - the most beautiful tree any of them had ever laid eyes on. The trunk was a gleaming, silver metal that reflected sunlight. The leaves were a vibrant green, and they seemed to shimmer with a soft light of their own accord.<br><br>The group took a moment to marvel at the tree, not because of its beauty, but because of the stark contrast between the tree's majesty and the desolate, war-torn wasteland they found themselves in.<br><br>Suddenly, a twig fell from above. The group looked up, and that's when they saw it.<br><br>A sprig of green, fresh mint, nestled among the leaves of the beautiful tree.<br><br>"How olive branch of the gods..." The Iranian delegate whispered.<br><br>"Oh Jesus...This may be our only chance at peace." The US delegate whispered back.<br><br>The group looked at one another, and then they acted. The US delegate, being the oldest, was hoisted onto the shoulders of the other three. He reached up, and plucked the sprig of fresh mint from the tree.<br><br>"Here, take it and - "<br><br>The group was cut off by a sudden, blinding flash of light. They stumbled backwards, shielding their eyes - except for the US delegate, who was still holding the sprig.<br><br>When the light faded, they opened their eyes. They were standing in the UN headquarters, right where God had first taken them. God was standing off to the side, smiling at them.<br><br>"What...What just happened?" The US delegate asked.<br><br>"You each showed that you would put the needs of many over your own selfish desires...And that is something to be proud of. So," God said, turning to face the delegates. "I will now officially end all wars being fought in my name."<br><br>"How?" The Chinese delegate asked.<br><br>God turned around, and the room fell silent again.<br><br>The delegates found themselves standing outside a large, old fashioned wooden door. God was standing next to them.<br><br>God grasped the door handle, his hand trembling as if he were about to throw up.<br><br>"I think we've made it clear we would rather die than go to war with one another...But there are still those who would misuse my name for their own purposes. And **that** must be stopped."<br><br>The group swallowed collectively.<br><br>"Are you sure?" God asked. "Once this door is opened...It can never be closed again."<br><br>The four of them nodded.<br><br>With the creaking of old wood, the door swung open. The group stepped through together, ready to face whatever horrors lay ahead.<br><br>The door creaked shut, and God turned to walk away. "Finally," He said to Himself. "I can rest in peace."