CMV: Telling men to "Man up" is just as toxic as telling women to get back in the kitchen

Firstly i'd like to clarify that this is NOT a post attacking feminists, I am a feminist. This is just something that I think is an issue that needs resolving and can only be resolved through discussion. I am open to being wrong and having someone change my view, so here we go:<br><br>"Man up" is a phrase used to tell men to be strong and get on with things even if they're upset or scared. It is used to tell men to hide their emotions and to "be a man". It is used to stop men talking about their issues and it causes men to bottle up, leading to suicide and lots of other issues. The phrase is just as toxic as "get back in the kitchen" because both are used to prevent one gender from doing something because of their gender, they're used to perpetuate negative gender stereotypes and they're used to cause negative emotions and harm.<br><br>EDIT: Firstly, thank you to everyone who has commented, you've all given me lots to think about and I've taken all of your argument on board.<br><br>Secondly, I'd like to just make clear that I haven't said this is the same as "Get back in the kitchen" in terms of severity. I have simply said that it is just as toxic, it is just as bad as a phrase, it is just as detrimental to one gender as "get back in the kitchen" is to the other because both cause negative effects.<br><br>Thirdly, I'd like to make it clear that I understand that women and men have very different histories on these issues because of the patriarchal society that has been male dominated for so long. However, I am not saying that men have it worse, I am saying that we ALL have issues surrounding gender stereotypes that need resolving.<br><br>Finally, I'd like to say that I'm so glad that so many people have been brave enough to share their stories surrounding these kinds if issues. Thank you so much to everyone who told their stories, they meant a lot, I read them all and took them all into account. The only way we can resolve these issues is by discussing them and sharing our experiences and I'm so grateful to everyone who has done that. <br><br>Now, onto the replies...<br><br>I'd like to just say that I never said that "man up" is the sole source of the repressive nature society has on men and their expressing of emotions. I am aware that there are many other forms, this is just one of them and it's this one that I am focusing on because of the many similarities it has to "get back in the kitchen"<br><br>Many people have said that "man up" is used to help men overcome their fears and struggles, to be brave and do something they're scared of doing, this is not how I have seen "Man up" used and I'm not saying that nobody uses it in this way. I believe that the phrase, in and of itself, encourages male stoicism and the repression of male emotions. The actual meaning of the phrase is to "be a man" and to act like a man should, which is the negative gender stereotype surrounding masculinity. Therefore, the phrase, regardless of the intent of the person saying it, is perpetuating negative gender stereotypes. <br><br>The reason I have compared this to "get back in the kitchen" is that both are used to perpetuate gender stereotypes. They are both used because of the gender of the person they're being used against (women and men respectively) and they are both used to stop that gender doing something they want/need to do, which is why I have compared the two. <br><br>Saying that "man up" is used to prevent men from doing things they're scared of doing because they're just being "emo" or "sensitive" or "feminine" is just as bad as saying a woman should "get back in the kitchen" because she's a woman and women are best suited to domestic work. Both are negative gender stereotypes designed to stop someone from doing something they want to do because their gender, which is the entire premise of feminism: getting rid of gender stereotypes and gender based oppression and discrimination. <br><br>Someone has raised the point that "all guys use the phrase 'man up' and they dont take offense to it" (Note: this is a paraphrase, I don't remember who said it and I don't want to just accuse someone's words so I've paraphrased it - apologies to whomever said it). I'm a guy and I take offense to it. I hate the use of the phrase and I think it's detrimental to male mental health and can cause men to bottle up their issues because of the negative gender stereotypes it perpetuates. I think it's just as toxic as "get back in the kitchen" because both cause men/women to bottle up and not talk about their issues and because of this, they're both toxic.<br><br>EDIT: <br>Sorry, everyone. I've had to stop replying because I have an exam in just under 2 hours and I need to revise for it. I'm so sorry to anyone who wrote a comment that I haven't replied to. Thank you all so much for your input, I've taken all of your arguments into account and I'll try to respond to as many as I can now but I might not be able to respond to them all. Thanks again. <br><br>UPDATE: <br>I just wanted to check back in here and say that, on reflection, many months after this post, I genuinely believe that the phrase "man up" is just as bad, as negative and just as toxic as "get back in the kitchen". I believe this because of the negative gender stereotypes that both perpetuate, because of the fact that they both cause harm and because of the fact that they're both used to oppress, they're both used to cause negative emotions and they're both used to stop people from doing something that they want to do. I am so grateful to everyone who commented and shared their story. I have taken everything you said onboard and I am now even more certain, upon reflection, that I was right. I am still a feminist, I still believe in equality and I still believe that these phrases are used to cause negative emotions and to oppress people, causing negative affects. <br><br>Thank you all so much <br>The guy who wrote the original post