Just Wanted To Share How It Feels To Finish My Second Novel - The Most Epic High Fantasy World Building And Storytelling Of My Life

I'm 21 years old. I finished my first novel 2 years ago. It was a high fantasy with a completed world and 350,000 words. I didn't edit it, still haven't, but I immediately started working on my second novel.<br><br>I was so excited. I sat down and wrote the entire 120,000 word outline for the world, plot, timeline, and characters in a week. I then sat down for the first time a few days ago to write the first scene.<br><br>I knew that I was a better writer than I was 2 years ago. But I didn't know how much better. The first scene came out amazing. I was so proud of it. I wrote all of the scenes I had planned for the first book in 40 hours. After the first 10 hours, I realized I was writing something special. After 20 hours, I realized it was my life's work.<br><br>I sat down to write the second book immediately. But I couldn't. I felt a darkness creeping up on me. The words wouldn't come. My heart felt heavy. I couldn't write. It's still hard for me to explain, but I just felt... different. The world was different. The characters were different. The story was different. I couldn't write. I couldn't focus. And I didin't know why.<br><br>I didn't give up. I kept trying to write. But the words wouldn't come. I was so confused. Nothing had ever stopped me from writing. I had always been able to write, no matter what. This time, I couldn't. I didn't know why.<br><br>3 weeks went by. I couldn't write. I stopped even trying. I was so confused. I had never felt this way before. I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't focus. I didin't know what was wrong with me.<br><br>Then, in a moment of clarity, it came to me. The reason why I couldn't write was because the story wasn't done. And I didin't know how to explain it, but It felt like it was my responsibility to finish it.<br><br>I sat down at 10am, and wrote until midnight. I wrote the majority of the story in 14 hours. It was so much different than I had originally planned. But it felt... right. The characters were different, but they felt right. The world felt different, but it felt right. The plot was different, but it felt right. It was like it was always that way, even though I had never even thought of it that way before.<br><br>I sat down to write the rest of it, and I wrote all 550,000 words in 225 hours. I didn't sleep much. I barely ate. I didn't shower. I didn't leave the house. And I didin't leave my desk. I wrote with all of my being. And I felt like I was guided by something other than myself.<br><br>It was like a fire burned inside of me. I felt like my life depended on it. I felt like the world depended on it. I felt like my sanity depended on it. I couldn't stop. I didn't want to stop. I knew I had to finish it.<br><br>I wrote the last sentence last night. I cried. I felt so empty. I felt a deep sadness, almost a depression. I wanted to crawl inside of a hole and hide. I didn't know what to do. I felt lost. Alone. And scared.<br><br>I didn't know how to feel. I was happy. But also sad. I was proud of myself, but I was also terrified. I had spent almost a month in solitude. I was disconnected from the world. I didn't know how to go back to my normal life.<br><br>I sat there for a few hours, in silence. Until it came to me. I didn't have to be sad. I could be happy. The world I had created, the story I had told, the characters I had created, they were mine. I had given them life. And I knew I could always return to them.<br><br>I didn't have to be disconnected from the world. I could be a part of it again. I didn't have to feel empty. I could fill myself with purpose. I didn't have to feel sad. I could be happy.<br><br>And I am. I don't know how to explain it, but I feel a sense of pride and fulfillment I have never felt in my entire life. I feel like I've done what I was put on this earth to do. I feel like I've done something that I can never do again. And even though it's hard for me to explain, I feel like I've done something I've already done a thousand times before.<br><br>I just wanted to share. Because even though it's hard for me to explain, I hope that one day you will feel the same way.<br><br>Good night, and happy writing.