[China] Wife’s parents expected US$14,000 from me as their retirement money.

China has a culture of expecting the husband’s parents to gift money to the wife’s parents when their children get married. The wife does not need to give her parents such money. It is expected that her husband’s parents will provide such money as it is usually assumed that parents are wealthier and their son is probably just graduating or a few years into his career and probably not terribly wealthy himself.<br><br>My parents have US$14,000. The money is not worth anything to them as China’s US$14,000 is a lot weaker than Norway’s US$14,000. I am from Norway but I did my masters in Beijing and have been living there for 5 years. I met my wife there, a Chinese woman, and we have been married for 3 years.<br><br>The thing is that I do not have US$14,000, at least not in cash. I own some land in Norway but it is not worth that much and I do not believe that my future in-laws will be happy with a piece of land instead of cash. Also, I am not sure if they have the right to own land in Norway as it is not very good for national security if a Chinese owns land in Norway. I already spoke to a lawyer but she said that it was possible but she was not sure and needed weeks to do more research, including if the parents are allowed to collect rent if they lease the land to someone.<br><br>I told my future in-laws that I do not have US$14,000 and I do not think that I can help them as I do not have US$14,000. My wife’s father said that it was okay and that he could wait for it but he wants to move the house he is living in and wants to add a new floor. He said that the US$14,000 is for the new floor, but if I cannot give the US$14,000, that I could add a new basement instead of US$14,000, at least that way I could live there with my wife and our son for free if I do not have US$14,000, at least that way I could live there with my wife and our son for free.<br><br>I told my parents about this and they said that is okay to live in the new basement that I build. They said that it’s fine, at least that way I could live there with my wife and our son for free!<br><br>But I still do not have US$14,000! My parents said that they can give me US$15,000 but they said that such money is terribly expensive for them. They said that it is not US$15,000 but US$30,000 because they are in Norway and Norway’s CPI is very high, so US$15,000 is terribly expensive for them. I said that at least that way I could live there with my wife and our son for free but they said that I was being impolite and expected my wife to live in a new basement that I build.<br><br>I said that I could build them a new floor instead of the basement. They said that at least that way I could live there with my wife and our son for free, but if I do that, that would mean I need to give them US$28,000 because I was originally expected to give US$14,000 for a basement, now that I am giving them a floor, it needs to be 2 times more expensive, so I need to give them US$28,000.<br><br>I already expected this but I said that I could not because I only have US$15,000. My wife’s father said that this was not okay, I needed to give him at least US$28,000 or he would not let my sister marry me. I do not have a sister but he said that he was trying to be polite and use a euphemism. I do not care about any polite euphemism if it means that I could live there with my wife and our son!<br><br>I said that I do not have US$28,000 but that I was willing to live in the new basement I build for them. They agreed and thanked me for my generosity. They said that I could live there with my wife and our son for free but only if I build them a new basement.<br><br>I am very happy that I could live there with my wife and our son for free, but I am not sure if it’s a good idea. I need to live there for the rest of my life and my wife and our son will also have to live there for the rest of their life. My wife is 10 years older than me and our son is 3 years old but he is not terribly active. They are very happy to live there for free and said that I was impolite for expecting them to live with such a terrible basement. I do not think that such a basement is terrible, I am a licensed architect and I am a very smart and hard worker. I am sure that I can design a very good basement!<br><br>I am not sure if it’s a good idea but I spoke to some of my friends and they said that it is very reasonable to live in the basement for free while my parents-in-law live there for free.<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>TLDR: my wife’s parents are expecting US$14,000 from me because it is traditional for the son-in-law to give US$14,000 as gift but I don’t have US$14,000. They said that it’s okay, they could live in the basement I build instead of a floor for the US$14,000, at least that way I could live there with my wife and our son for free!<br><br>&#x200B;<br><br>Edit: The money is for them to live there for free because the basement I build will have an independent entrance, elevator, kitchen, master bedroom, and bathroom. I will live there with my wife and our son for free, I promised her that I will live there with her and our son, that I will be a good husband and father, and I will not break my promise. I already spoke to the contractor and he said that he could build a very nice basement and that he would contact me when he is done.