Mommy, What's a Mental Ilness?

I curled up in my bed, closing my eyes and taking a deep breath.<br><br>"Why are I? Why are I here?"<br><br>"Baby, what's wrong? You're scaring me!"<br><br>"I'm a human. I'm alive. I'm here. Why?"<br><br>"I don't know, sweetie, but you mean a lot to me."<br><br>"I don't feel like it; everyone's always telling me what to do and how to do it. I don't mean anything to anyone."<br><br>"That's not true. I love you."<br><br>"I love you too, but what love is this? I don't feel loved. I feel like I'm a burden or a duty or anything but love."<br><br>"You are my love, the love of my life."<br><br>"Am I though? Do I mean anything to anyone? Or am I just a duty?"<br><br>"You're my everything."<br><br>"But do I I? Do I mean anything?"<br><br>"Yes, baby, you mean the world to me."<br><br>"Why? What am I to you?"<br><br>"You're the love of my life, baby. You're my world."<br><br>"Why?"<br><br>"Because I love you."<br><br>"Why?"<br><br>"Because you're my baby."<br><br>"Yeah, but why?"<br><br>"Because you're my daughter."<br><br>"Yeah, but why?"<br><br>"Because I carried you for nine months."<br><br>"Yeah, but why?"<br><br>"Because I had to carry you."<br><br>"Yeah, but why?"<br><br>"Because I was your mother."<br><br>"Yeah, but why?"<br><br>"Because I was your mother."<br><br>"Yeah, but why?"<br><br>"Because I was your mom."<br><br>"Yeah, but why?"<br><br>"Because I was your mommy."<br><br>"Yeah, but why?"<br><br>"Because I was your mommy."<br><br>"Yeah, but why?"<br><br>"Because you're you."<br><br>"Yeah, but why?"<br><br>"What do you mean why? I love you."<br><br>"Yeah, but why? Why do you love me?"<br><br>"What do you mean why?"<br><br>"Yeah, what do you mean why?"<br><br>"Are you okay, is something wrong?"<br><br>"Yeah, something's wrong. I don't feel like I love myself."<br><br>"Baby, what's wrong with you? Do you need to go to the doctor?"<br><br>"Doctors can't help me."<br><br>"Well, maybe the psychiatrist can. Do you I need to take you?"<br><br>"Yeah. I don't feel right. I feel like I'm a burden and no one loves me."<br><br>"Oh, baby, I love you."<br><br>"Yeah, what do you mean why?"<br><br>"Baby, I love you."<br><br>"Yeah, but why?"<br><br>"I don't love you."<br><br>"What? What do you mean? You just said you love me!"<br><br>"I didn't mean it."<br><br>"What do you mean you didn't mean it? You just said you love me!"<br><br>"I didn't. I don't know why I said that."<br><br>"But you did though."<br><br>"Yeah, but I didn't mean it."<br><br>"But I thought you loved me. You told me!"<br><br>"I didn't. I lied. I don't love you."<br><br>"Why? What did I do?"<br><br>"You're defective."<br><br>"I'm not! I'm not! I'm not!"<br><br>"Okay, then you're not. But I still don't love you."<br><br>"Do you love me?"<br><br>"I love you."<br><br>"No you don't."<br><br>"Yes, I do!"<br><br>"You don't! Liar! Liar!"<br><br>"I'm not lying."<br><br>"You do! You do! You're lying!"<br><br>"I'm not! I love you, I swear!"<br><br>"I don't believe you!"<br><br>"Oh, baby, stop crying. I love you."<br><br>"I don't believe you."<br><br>"I love you!"<br><br>"I love you too!"<br><br>"Mommy, what's a mental illness?"<br><br>"Why?"<br><br>"Because I think I'm crazy."<br><br>"You're not crazy, baby."<br><br>"Yeah I am, I know it. I don't feel right."<br><br>"You're not crazy."<br><br>"Yeah I am! I know I am!"<br><br>"You're not."<br><br>"I'm not? I don't feel right."<br><br>"Yeah, you're not crazy. But maybe we should let the doctor figure that out."<br><br>"Yeah. I feel crazy."<br><br>"You're not crazy, baby. Don't worry."<br><br>"But what do I do?"<br><br>"We'll talk to the psychiatrist. And then we'll know."<br><br>"Yeah. I'm crazy. I know it. I just know."<br><br>"You're not."<br><br>"Yeah, I am."<br><br>"You're not."<br><br>"I'm not?"<br><br>"No, baby, you're not."<br><br>"Yeah, I am."<br><br>"You're not."<br><br>"Yeah, I am."<br><br>"You're not. But we're gonna let the psychiatrist figure that out."<br><br>"Yeah, let's."<br><br>Mommy, what's a mental illness?<br><br>It's what you have.<br><br>Mommy, am I crazy?<br><br>No, baby, you're not.<br><br>Am I?<br><br>No.<br><br>Yeah, I am.<br><br>No, baby, you're not.<br><br>I'm not?<br><br>No.<br><br>Yeah, I am.<br><br>You're not.<br><br>Am I?<br><br>No, baby; you're not.<br><br>Yeah, I am.<br><br>No, baby. You're not.<br><br>Yeah, I am.<br><br>No, baby.<br><br>Yeah.<br><br>Yeah.