Apparently I can’t leave my children alone together with the baby even though the eldest is 10, I’ve just been judged for it anyway and I don’t even think I’m doing anything wrong.

This happened 2 weeks ago, I’m 41M, my wife 41F, our children are 10M and 6F. Our eldest uses a wheelchair and has complex medical needs, he’s non verbal and can’t walk on his own. <br><br>We went to an airshow, the weather was terrible, it started to rain, and we got soaked. I told my wife I would take the kids home, she stayed at the show with some friends and her sister. I asked her if she was okay with leaving the eldest and youngest at home with her sister’s daughter 17F who will be referred to as S from now on. She said fine, I reminded her that S needs to keep an eye on our eldest because he’s too strong and he can hurt the youngest if he wants to. S knows this, and she also knows how to handle him, he’s very easy going.<br><br>The show ended, and we sat in the car, while my wife and her sister started gossiping about how I left the kids with S who’s just 17. She said I shouldn’t have left her with the kids, especially our eldest because he can be violent and is too heavy for her, and she might not be able to deal with him while caring for the baby.<br><br>Then my wife jumped in and said that even though S knows how to deal with him, but there’s no guarantees that he won’t hurt the baby one day, and it’s better to not leave them with her just to be safe, she also pointed out that it’s better to have an adult there. I asked her if she thinks S can’t handle him and she said why take the risk? And she also pointed out that the house might catch on fire, and S being a teen might panic and won’t be able to deal with the situation.<br><br>I said it’s better to be prepared than paranoid, I also reminded her that I used to leave him with the home care when he was little and they were usually teens, and some of them were even 17 like S. She said the home care workers were trained and that’s a totally different story, I said S is also trained on how to deal with him but she interrupted me and said she hopes nothing happens, I don’t want her to jinx us.<br><br>I didn’t argue any further. I just wonder if I was wrong for leaving them with S?