I'm a chef and I've been living a lie about the quality and authenticity of my food

I'm a personal chef for a upper class family in the US with a multi-million dollar house who go on many vacations every year. They claim they miss authentic European and Asian food after living abroad for several years. <br><br>When I first started cooking for them, I made elaborate dishes that took hours to make. I would shop for the highest quality ingredients and I'd always try to make sure I followed each recipe I'd chosen to the letter. I'd use things like saffron and truffles and fresh fish. I'd always end each meal with a decadent dessert. The food was amazing. <br><br>But no matter how hard I tried, they'd just say something like "this is really tasty, but it's not quite there." Or "I think you mean well, but this dish isn't quite like the food I had while I was in Italy." Except I've never been to Italy. I was an apprentice at a restaurant in the city. <br><br>So once I got fed up and screwed around with a lot of the dishes to see how they'd react. I did things like substitute Levi's garlic and herb sauteed chicken or un curso brand tomato sauces for freshly prepared sauces. I'd substitute imitation saffron and quality with much more affordable ingredients. I stopped using seafood and opted for cheaper alternatives. <br><br>You'd think there'd be some kind of a difference, right? I mean, I was trained in a kitchen. <br><br>No. They'd still just say "This is really good, just not *quite* there." I'd sometimes get a "This is the best food I've had all week!" Except I'm the only person cooking for them. And I feed them 5 days a week. <br><br>So now I just phone in a lot of the meals and get lazy as hell with the food I make. I'll serve sauteed chicken and vegetables with mashed potatoes. I'll make mac and cheese and add some expensive cheese to create the illusion that I'm giving them high quality food. I'll ground beef and add a few Indian spices and then serve it with rice and some roasted veggies. I'll make ramen with some added vegetables and egg and call it pad thai (which is really just a variation of an Asian noodle dish). I'll make a bowl of pesto with some added cream. <br><br>They always eat it. Never complain. It's like they don't know the difference. I've fished for information about what exactly they're looking for and they'll just say things like "I want you to make food like our old chef used to make." Or "I don't know, just try harder." Except the food I make *is* authentic. It's not like I'm making up my own recipes from scratch. I'm more or less following a recipe most of the time. Except I'm missing that magical step where I wave a wand and call out "Bon Appetit!" and the food becomes something better. Only I don't have that wand, and no amount of trying will get me there. And no amount of pointing out that they're unrealistic will get through to them. I think they know on some level that the food is really good. Or at least that they're being picky. They'll always talk about how lucky they are to have me and how much they appreciate me and my skills as a chef. And maybe they do. Maybe they still like the food even if it doesn't taste like whatever they're craving. <br><br>I don't really know. Except I still feel like I'm living a lie and I don't know how to get through to them. I feel like I need to just own up to my inability to replicate whatever food they're craving and then quit. Or maybe I should just own up to it and stop trying. I feel like I should just enjoy the fact that I have a steady well-paying job where I can cook whatever I want. <br><br>I don't know. I just know that I still feel like I've failed on some level.